Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
By and large, it's established beyond the doubt that if people need to be successfull, they should try and make an opportunity forthem selves. It is noticeable to be mentioned that active person has more chance for constructing their future very well. An old Persian author states that river has more opportunity to grow fish rather than toll. After reagarding the different factors into consideration, I am totaly support this notion that succssful people always try new thing and take risk. In the following, I will elaborate more details about my point of view.
The first exquisite point need to be mentioned is that people who take risk provide varaiety conditions and try to opt the best one for themselves. As matter of the fact a plethora of people are of the opinion that successful never reached easily and you must try very hard and find it. If people take risk and try to evaluate their opportunities, they will analyze the whole aspect of them and indeed their decision is acurate which related to be successful. As far as I am concern, the group of people which always try to study the new thing are not successful but in compare to the another group of people which are waiting to sieze an special situation and then build their life, are more successful.
There is another factor that deserves some words is that take risk make the people be dare and brave, obviously, the brave people have more chance in their life due to they will try dramatically. According to the survey has been conducted by Tehran university's experts demonstrated that the people who take risk for finding the job or start their business acquire more profit rather than the fearfull people. In addition, the people who try the new things have more knowlegde and experiences which enhance them in their work. Although, it is very critical to be mentioned that take risk just by considering every aspect of things and being according to the wise, will be led to succeed. If people do not have any goal and want to try any things, they will waste their time. Consequently, the succeed will achieve just by hard working and being brave.
To put in all in nutshell, by considering all of the aforementioned reasons, I totally support this idea that takes the risk will enhance the people to reach their goals.
- TPO-45 - Integrated Writing Task 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 99, Rule ID: TRY_AND[1]
Message: "Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "'try to'" is recommended for writing.
Suggestion: try to
...ple need to be successfull, they should try and make an opportunity forthem selves. It ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 637, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...up of people which are waiting to sieze an special situation and then build their ...
^^
Line 5, column 789, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ey will waste their time. Consequently, the succeed will achieve just by hard working and b...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 43, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... put in all in nutshell, by considering all of the aforementioned reasons, I totally suppo...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, if, so, then, well, in addition, by and large
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1903.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 400.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7575 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55602107777 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.4925 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 589.5 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 48.1952004223 48.9658058833 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.9375 100.406767564 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0 20.6045352989 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.4375 5.45110844103 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.214730685399 0.236089414692 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0763264486133 0.076458572812 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0426582967665 0.0737576698707 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133896520999 0.150856017488 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0344068705462 0.0645574589148 53% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 11.7677419355 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.