The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"The population on Balmer Island doubles during the summer months. During the summer, then, the town council of Balmer Island should decrease the maximum number of moped rentals allowed at each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day. This will significantly reduce the number of summertime accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians. The neighboring island of Torseau actually saw a 50 percent reduction in moped accidents last year when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals. To help reduce moped accidents, therefore, we should also enforce these limitations during the summer months."
The author argues that the reduction in number of moped rentals could decline the number of accidents in the Balmer island. Stated in this way, the argument fails to mention several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. Just reduction on rentals doesn't assure the safety on the island. To justify it further, the author should provide a case study about the current number of people and the area of Balmer island as well as some more aspects which could bolster the argument.
First of all the initial population of Balmer island is not mentioned by the author. Possibly a small amount people could be living in Balmer island with respect to Torseau island. For instance, if there are only 100 people living in that island and in summer if the popluation doubled, then it wouldn't be a good idea to reduce the number of rentals since the population is already low. Indisputably, on the Torseau island, the population may be much more than Balmer island and thus reduction on rentals would actually useful for the safety of people. Thus, if the author had given the information about the population of Blamer and Torseau islands then the comparision between them can be done adequately.
Secondly, the author failed to mention the area of Balmer and Torseu islands. Presumbaly, the area of Balmer island is 4 or 5 times the area of Torseu island and hence reduction in number of rentals could not be a great choice to reduce the accidents. Furthermore, the author didn't mention whether accidents are already happening in the Balmer island or not. If the accidents are not occurring in the Balmer island at all, then there won't be any need to enforce the rules. Hence, if the author had provided some information about detailed study of area of Balmer island and the current status of accidents happening in that island, the argument would seem more convincing.
At last, the author failed to mention the current status of roads on Balmer and Torseau islands. If the roads on Torseau island are damanged, then there could be possibility of accidents. Possibly the roads on Blamer islands are in good condition irrespective of Torseau islands, then the chances of accidents in Balmer island must be low. Moreover, the reduction of moped rentals wouldn't affect the number of accidents in that case. Furthermore, their business may reduce by limiting the rentals. Therefore, a detailed analysis should be given by the author about the condition of roads where people are riding mopeds in order to make the argument cogent.
In conclusion, the author's argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it futher, the author should provide more concrete evidences, perhaps by the way of reliable survey about population, area and condition of roads of Balmer island. Finally to better assess the argument, it would be necessary to know more information about the same factors for Torseau island as well in order to assure whether the same rules can be applied to Balmer island or not.
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| 2018-08-29 | majduleen | 55 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: For instance, if there are only 100 people living in that island and in summer if the popluation doubled, then it wouldn't be a good idea to reduce the number of rentals since the population is already low.
Error: popluation Suggestion: population
Sentence: Thus, if the author had given the information about the population of Blamer and Torseau islands then the comparision between them can be done adequately.
Error: comparision Suggestion: comparison
Sentence: If the roads on Torseau island are damanged, then there could be possibility of accidents.
Error: damanged Suggestion: damaged
Sentence: To bolster it futher, the author should provide more concrete evidences, perhaps by the way of reliable survey about population, area and condition of roads of Balmer island.
Error: futher Suggestion: father
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 514 350
No. of Characters: 2440 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.761 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.747 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.432 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 208 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.348 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.751 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.826 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.377 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.547 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.144 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 266, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...be evaluated. Just reduction on rentals doesnt assure the safety on the island. To jus...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 296, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...mmer if the popluation doubled, then it wouldnt be a good idea to reduce the number of ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 277, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... the accidents. Furthermore, the author didnt mention whether accidents are already h...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 382, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...oreover, the reduction of moped rentals wouldnt affect the number of accidents in that ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... argument cogent. In conclusion, the authors argument is unpersuasive as it stands. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 242, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...nd condition of roads of Balmer island. Finally to better assess the argument, it would...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, finally, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, well, for instance, in conclusion, as well as, by the way, first of all, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 80.0 55.5748502994 144% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2499.0 2260.96107784 111% => OK
No of words: 509.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90962671906 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74984508646 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51769686796 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.369351669941 0.468620217663 79% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 783.9 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.8275098603 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.652173913 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1304347826 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.60869565217 5.70786347227 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 16.0 6.88822355289 232% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.340597228351 0.218282227539 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.134376453338 0.0743258471296 181% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0762318416764 0.0701772020484 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.236095270901 0.128457276422 184% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0564100167861 0.0628817314937 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.49 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.