The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
According to the passage, the author asserts that reducing an hour in working process will lead to higher productivity since the workers may get adequate amounts of sleep. However, this passage calls for further evidence and adequate inferences on its diagnosis and suggestion.
First, the author assumes that Quiot is more vulnerable to on-the-job accidents compared to Panoply Industries and Panoply’s less accidents result from the work shifts which are an hour shorter than Quiot. However, this mere fact seems to be overestimated in some sense. The author maintains his/her argument by providing the statistics from last year, however, some may doubt the fact that the relatively higher accidents compared to that of Panoply was an exception. That is, it is possible that Quiot used to have less accidents than Panoply in the past. Moreover, if two companies differ in the type of production, this difference might not be sufficient to explain the working conditions of both companies. What if the Quiot is based on manufacturing and most of Panoply’s tasks are done by computers? This may nullify most of the assumptions made in the passage. In addition, merely the fact that 30 percent more accidents happened in Quiot does not necessarily mean that Quiot is significantly vulnerable to accidents. If the actual number of the accidents were significantly low, the 30 percentage increase might not be that serious. Not only that, some may question that an hour reduction in work shift always guarantees the better productivity. There can be other factors that might have affected the occurrence of accidents. For example, Panoply may have safer environment. Therefore, the author’s assumption that Panoply’s shortened work hour caused less accidents should be reassessed.
Second, the author presumes that, by borrowing from experts claim, the fatigue and sleep deprivation caused more accidents at Quiot. However, this claim needs more accurate evidence. It may be true that fatigue and sleep deprivation cause more accidents in general. Notwithstanding, this does not necessarily explain the main cause of accidents at each company. That is, the author is making too much generalization on the factors which triggered accidents.
Last, the author believes that employees may get adequate amounts of sleep from an extra hour given from shortened work shifts. However, unless employees spend their extra hour only for sleep, this does not necessarily guarantee the longer sleeping hour. When employees spend their time for other activities, they might sleep as usual or even less. Furthermore, the author mentioned that this extra hour is given by shortening work shift. But this shortened procedures in production may cause accidents related to safety. Moreover, if employees are forced to finish their work in time, with intensified labor, they may suffer from fatigue and need more hours to recover.
Hence, in conclusion, the author’s claim that reduced working hour may bring about the better productivity seems to depend on insufficient information. In order to provide better alternative, the author should provide further evidence that is relevant to the situation at Quiot.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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| 2019-07-22 | nateray42 | 69 | view |
| 2019-06-03 | zickzion123 | 82 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 502 350
No. of Characters: 2624 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.733 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.227 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.724 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 184 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 82 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.929 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.352 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.471 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 131, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun accidents is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...o Panoply Industries and Panoply's less accidents result from the work shifts w...
^^^^
Line 3, column 523, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun accidents is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... it is possible that Quiot used to have less accidents than Panoply in the past. Mor...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1483, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun accidents is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...noply's shortened work hour caused less accidents should be reassessed. Sec...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the factors which triggered accidents. Last, the author believes that employees...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, therefore, for example, in addition, in conclusion, in general
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2727.0 2260.96107784 121% => OK
No of words: 501.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.44311377246 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73107062784 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91630906222 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.465069860279 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 819.0 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 4.96107784431 262% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.6581693475 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.3928571429 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8928571429 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.78571428571 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.265398494699 0.218282227539 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0768385622484 0.0743258471296 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0866042597192 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128083490782 0.128457276422 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0967727044207 0.0628817314937 154% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.98 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 98.500998004 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.