TPO40 independent
Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?
There is no doubt that in nowadays money plays a prominent role in people's lives. Moreover, the financial prize is interested in every one which makes possible to buy some interesting devices, toys, etc. some people may take the view that financial gift is a good offer to encourage children to study hard. However, some others may hold the view that it is not an effective way to encourage them. So, from my perspective, I strongly support the idea that money could be a good offer to encourage children to give a high mark. On the countless reasons and examples, I will present the most essential and conspicuous ones here.
The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that money is a valuable prize which is gifted to everyone who reaches an important achievement. So, children realize that they can get money instead of achieving high marks. Therefore, they attempt to be talented in their study and get good scores to obtain money. Also, they learn all the valuable things in their lives would be obtained is the result of prominent actions. for example, when my son was studied in the third grade of primary school I gave him money for his high score in mathematical, he bought some toys with his gift and was so interested to study hard. Thus, the financial prize was the essential medium to encourage my son.
The second equally point is the importance of financial gift to familiarize children with saving money which affects different aspects of their life. In today's world children who obtain money during their study using their attempts have got a disciplinary character with a precise plan for their future. On the contrary, children who have been supported by their parent without any condition have dependent personality and often without good self-confidence. To illustrate it, I refer to recent studies conducted in the University of MIT which revealed that the children who give money from their parent under the condition of gaining good mark in their study are more successful in the whole of their education against other children. They learn how they should manage their money to satisfy all of their need also saving money for the future.
In conclusion, I strongly supported this idea that money is a fantastic prize for children to encourage them to study more and get high marks which is improve their personality as same as their education. Furthermore, they learn to try to achieving valuable things in his life instead of depending on their parent.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-12-31 | Abbas.ghaffari | 70 | view |
| 2019-12-17 | marysv | 71 | view |
| 2019-12-17 | mohammadkmi | 70 | view |
| 2019-10-26 | M.S 2019 | 70 | view |
| 2019-10-19 | gaoxiangluke | 70 | view |
- TPO 21- Independent 3
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- TPO 40: surface of the venus is not possible habitant for human 68
- TPO44: the silver coin which is founded in US is genuine evidence or the fake one? 78
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 24, Rule ID: IN_NOWADAYS[1]
Message: nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: 'nowadays'.
Suggestion: nowadays
There is no doubt that in nowadays money plays a prominent role in peoples...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 421, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: For
...ned is the result of prominent actions. for example, when my son was studied in the...
^^^
Line 4, column 15, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng money for the future. In conclusion, I strongly supported this idea that mone...
^^
Line 4, column 153, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'improved'.
Suggestion: improved
... study more and get high marks which is improve their personality as same as their educ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, therefore, third, thus, for example, in conclusion, no doubt, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2063.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 422.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88862559242 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61141848906 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490521327014 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 642.6 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.3559078115 48.9658058833 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.578947368 100.406767564 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2105263158 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.52631578947 5.45110844103 138% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.318670375222 0.236089414692 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100017371142 0.076458572812 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0765516645402 0.0737576698707 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.203114689044 0.150856017488 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0507143346832 0.0645574589148 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 11.7677419355 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.