The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.
"Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora's citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora's citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The argument with conclusion that fitness levels will improve when the economy does is rather weak. It is based on the premises that only one-quarter of Corpora's citizens meet the current standards for fitness, even though one-half met the standards as then defined twenty years ago, that overall fitness levels are highest where levels of computer ownership are also highest, resulting in that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit, and that this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services. However, there are many hidden assumptions needed to be supposed, as explained in the following paragraphs.
First, the assumption that the proportion of citizens meet the current standards is lower than the proportion of citizens twenty years ago met the standards now has to be verified, for the standards must be the same in order to make the comparison meaningful. If the assumption is demonstrated, the total discussion will have sensible base, making the argument more strong. However, the lack worse the validity of the argument.
Moreover, the assumption that the relation between computer and fitness is unrelated needs to be testified. It is claimed in the argument, without any proof. The fact that overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest is simply not enough. It is the fact that the people fond of using computer have the some condition of fitness as those who have no preference in computer that makes sense. This kind of detailed description needed to be mentioned in the statement that confirmed the resumption, strengthening the argument.
Furthermore, the assumption that trend which people tend not to purchase fitness-related products and services is a result of tighter budget should be certified. There is a tendency that people just stop buying these goods, but the reason is not stated. Although economy is one answer, without evidences such as polls of predisposition of using fitness-related products and services and possible cause of leaving them, the assertion is just point of view of the author, not verified. The conjecture ought to be proved, so as to fortify the logic of the argument.
In the end, the argument is rather weak. It is based on shaky premises and flawed logic. However, if the above assumptions are explained in the statement, it will be greatly reinforced. Therefore, the conclusion is not acceptable, more facts needed to be presented.
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.053 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.053 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5