For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
Successful carrier is much more desired of every persons of the world and people works very hard to reached that stage. Personally, I believe that the ability to well connected with the people is more necessary rather than working hard in school. I feel this way for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, better understanding with each other in any stages of the life is more important. Because knowing other people very closely helps an individual to achieved the pinnacle of the carrier. Future job depend on hoe people well perform in a broad categories of people in difficult situation. My own experience is a very compelling example for this. Now, I am working in private bank company at management trainee officer and my responsibility is provie essential direction of my employees. I am very close every employee of my sector and knowing better each person. It helps me enormously to give them right instruction about the banking mechanism. They also cooperative to me about any things when i need somethings. Though, I was not a good student at campus life in management subject but better understanding with other people helps me massively. As a result, my boos also cngratulates me about my performances.
Finally, get rid off critical problems from difficult situation in a person life. Every persons probably faced some harsh stage of live and that bad time provides many important lesson to every individuals. For instances, few years ago I was worked in a school. I took management in class nine. That time my father falled into a great physical problem and needed an operation to recovered. Then I faced some financial problem and required some money to borrowed. I did't understood what to do then one of my college from the school helped my providing necessary money. And I had a close relationship with that college who oftentime hepled my by various things. However, I was not a good student at school but I have good habit about keep connection with every persons. This little character help me many times.
In conclusion, I strongly belive that the attribute to connected with the people in far more imporatant than studying hard in educational institutes. This is because better understanding with people and get rid off from the difficult situations.
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- TPO 24 Integrated TOEFL Writing(R) 73
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- In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. 70
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 96, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y stages of the life is more important. Because knowing other people very closely helps...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 255, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'category'?
Suggestion: category
...d on hoe people well perform in a broad categories of people in difficult situation. My ow...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 707, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...cooperative to me about any things when i need somethings. Though, I was not a go...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, so, then, well, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1921.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 389.0 407.700716846 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9383033419 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44106776838 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83101005498 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54498714653 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 617.4 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.7101733418 48.9658058833 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.84 100.406767564 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.56 20.6045352989 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.72 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.219757098978 0.236089414692 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0558038653472 0.076458572812 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0856478247428 0.0737576698707 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.159866341182 0.150856017488 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.100635803878 0.0645574589148 156% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.11 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.