The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The given excerpt is a memorandum from the owner of a famous chain of video stores trying to recommend the ways in which the company could reduce their operating expenses and reverse the effect of the recent decline in profits. The author's analysis might be plausible but there are a few questions that need to be answered for implementing the suggested changes in the stores, the major ones are as follows:
Firstly, a deeper analysis is demanded to find out the very cause of the decline in the company's revenue in the recent times. Is is due to current economics or only some of the stores are bearing losses or it is a common issue faced by all the stores? The author suggests that to increase the profit they must cut the operational expenses at all the ten video stores which might be one of the possible ways to bring about the change. Also, he reasonably qualifies that increasing the rentals is not recommended as it could hurt their reputation as a low cost provider.
To support his stand, the owner provides the results of one of the stores located in the city of Marston. The store witnessed a reduced operational expenses by early closure and removing old inventory from the store. However, the author needs to validate that such a strategy would work on all of the other nine stores as well. The differences in people's demands in different regions would have to be analysed and a survey could be an option. There are some communities that prefer old movies than new ones and surely such an strategy would be counterproductive.
Similarly, the 6pm shut down in a metro city would not be effective as most people shop after office hours and hence there is chance of drop in sales. One strategy that is effective in one region might not work in another. A proper cause-effect study needs to be performed for such a decision.
Finally, the author suggests that the same policy must be implemented in other stores however he must walk the talk and back his claims of recovery in monetary values. what increase in profit is expected in what time? Providing such targets would help the business to be more focused and help the author's case.
Hence, the above questions must be answered in order to confidently implement changes in the stores and achieve the predicted results and maintaining their reputation at the same time.
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Sentence: Is is due to current economics or only some of the stores are bearing losses or it is a common issue faced by all the stores?
Description: The fragment Is is contains a repeated word
Suggestion: Delete a possible duplicate word:
flaws:
Not well organized.
Suggested arguments:
1. why 'raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profit'?
2. 'Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses' doesn't mean it makes profits.
3. It works in Marston, doesn't mean it works at other stores.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 409 350
No. of Characters: 1899 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.497 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.643 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.528 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.989 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.412 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.587 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5