If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
My hometown is a small region suffered with economic disadvantages and its effect. I think if I am asked for a change at my town I will rather to be provided jobs for people living there, like building a factory. I feel this way for 2 reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
In the first place, people will have adequate income for their life by working. Making money change people lifestyle in a positive way so that, they can provide their requirements, do some things that they couldn’t do ever and also be happy and full of energy in their life. A compelling example can be my brother case. He lives in a city had same problem that my city have now. A manufacturer has employed lots of local people at his factory and one of them is my brother. He didn’t have any job and was so depressed, and without hoping to life formerly, but thanks to engaging in the new factory, his life and willings from life are totally changed. This example clearly demonstrates why I choose this change for my hometown.
Secondly, the rate of crimes will decline. Poverty and having no job can cause an increase in crime, can cause behavioral abnormalities, and so on that they threaten the whole society. With attention to my brother’s example, according to the statistics, the presence of the factory in his town has positive and remarkable effect on decreasing the amount of crimes in an acceptable rate.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that making works for my hometown people is the change I really want, even hypothetical idea of this make me happy. This is because, it will change people lifestyle and makes them satisfied and confident in life, and because the rate of guilts will be reduced.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 118, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a positive way" with adverb for "positive"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...g. Making money change people lifestyle in a positive way so that, they can provide their require...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, i feel, i think, in conclusion, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 52.1666666667 65% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1426.0 1977.66487455 72% => OK
No of words: 302.0 407.700716846 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72185430464 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1687104957 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74054586547 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.562913907285 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 461.7 618.680645161 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.1004917324 48.9658058833 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.0666666667 100.406767564 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1333333333 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.8 5.45110844103 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0763483374825 0.236089414692 32% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.029459827191 0.076458572812 39% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0346203285217 0.0737576698707 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0482541874991 0.150856017488 32% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0303590388265 0.0645574589148 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.