Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author believes that there is a decline in the Arctic deer population because of the effects of global warming on the sea ice. This argument may seem logical at first, but the author has come to this conclusion by making several assumptions, for which he provides no proof.
First, the author mentions only the reports from the local hunters as his reason to believe that the deer population is decreasing. But how accurate was this report? How extensive was the study done by the local hunters? How many hunters reported this? It is possible that only one or two hunters reported this decline n population or that it was reported by hunters who are not aware of the movement pattern of the arctic deers. It is possible that the deers were simply on another island and the hunters were looking in the wrong place. It is also possible that the deers have evolved to sense the hunter’s presence and some of them have simply managed to avoid them.
If we assume the hunter’s reports to be accurate and if the deer population has really declined, the author still provides no proof that global warming is the reason for they decline. He draws this conlusion form the fact that these reports coincide with recents global warming trends. This might not be the reason for the decline. The decline could be because of over-hunting of the animals or because of the possible presence of toxins in their drinkng water or because of ingestion of pollutants like thin plastic. This list of the possible cause for their decline could go on and on. The author provides no proof to his claim that global warming is the cause.
The author also does not mention the extent to which global warming has effected the area. Is its impact significant? Has it caused the ice to thin so much that it can not support the weight of the deer anymore? If this is true, will the deers have adapted and found a new and safer migrating path? If the deers have found a new path or if, due to the thin ice, they have moved elsewhere, the hunters, not knowing this, might think that the population has declined even though that is not the case.
Furthermore, the author does not mention any significant research on the deers. It is possible that they find new islands every few years. The islands might not be their only home. And if it is, a new species in the area competing for the same food source might also cause a decline in the population. Has any invasion of alien species been reported in the area? Is there a new species preying on them in the area? Has there been any reports of illegal poaching? The author provides no answer to any of these questions.
In conclusion, the author might be right in his beliefs that global warming has caused a decline in arectic deer population but he is well-adviced to resaerch more into this and get substantial material to prove his many assumptions.
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Sentence: He draws this conlusion form the fact that these reports coincide with recents global warming trends.
Error: conlusion Suggestion: conclusion
Sentence: The decline could be because of over-hunting of the animals or because of the possible presence of toxins in their drinkng water or because of ingestion of pollutants like thin plastic.
Error: drinkng Suggestion: drinking
Sentence: In conclusion, the author might be right in his beliefs that global warming has caused a decline in arectic deer population but he is well-adviced to resaerch more into this and get substantial material to prove his many assumptions.
Error: resaerch Suggestion: research
Error: arectic Suggestion: arctic
flaws:
No. of Words: 514 350 (less words in real exams. write the essay in half an hour)
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
You may remove the fifth paragraph with less words. Still you can get 5.5.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 514 350
No. of Characters: 2309 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.761 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.492 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.287 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.724 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.741 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.414 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.448 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5