The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author has well explained the logic behind the recommendation of opening a cafe in the Monarch's Books store. Since the store is well established and has a large customer database, the opening of a cafe would clearly encourage people to make a visit there.Nevertheless, it depends on the choice of the customers too so the above explanation is not a full-proof one. Additionally, the idea of spatial allotment to the cafe is not very cogent. In the very beginning, the author claims that Monarch is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. In order to introduce a cafe section however the children's book section will have to be eliminated thus undermining the store's popularity because this is what it is known for, wide variety on all subjects. Though the author has supported his claim by making a mention of the recent national census indication of a significant decline in the population under age ten but the statistics may take a U-turn in the coming years and the plan may backfire. Also, no appropriate jutification has been provided by the author as to how the opening of a cafe would help compete with Regal Books. There may be a possibility that it is only the books that people are seeking and not a cafe. The success or failure of the new incorporation is dependent on public demand, which has not been given due consideration by the author.
In order to strengthen his/her argument, the author should have included the customers' view points, their likes and dislikes. In all, the argument was well reasoned except for a few loopholes.
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- TOEFL integrated writing Altruism 78
- The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner."Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central 45
- The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books."We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because i 50
Sentence: Also, no appropriate jutification has been provided by the author as to how the opening of a cafe would help compete with Regal Books.
Error: jutification Suggestion: justification
flaws:
No. of Words: 273 350 (need more words)
No. of Characters: 1274 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5 (need four or five paragraphs)
It is not well organized.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 273 350
No. of Characters: 1274 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.065 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.667 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.75 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 86 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.718 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.386 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.477 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5