The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.
"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author's appeal in the letter to prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza to restore its previously high levels of business is flawed. At several places in the letter loopholes exist that may preclude the readers from believing the text.
First of all, the ground on which the author asserts the decrease in number of shoppers and increase in the popularity of skateboarding over the past two years has not been mentioned. In order to strengthen his/her argument, the author could have included a valid survey (covering all the Central Plazas) stating that the above happened over the past two years. Additionally, the increase in the number of skateboarders may not be related to the decrease in the number of shoppers. Other reasons might be existing causing a decline in the store's business. e.g. the decrease in quality or increased prices of the products at the store could have led to such a situation. So, the author should have done more research on the reasons for this downfall.
Second of all, the author says that 'many' Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza.
But he/she doesn't provide any evidence of the number of store owners he/she has interacted with. Moreover, the owners the author is referring to have not given a concrete proof of their assumption. Again, there is a lack of authenticity and the reason behind the owners' belief of decline in business due to to the increase in the number of skateboard users in the Plaza has not been well supported with facts and figures.
Another very important point where the author fails to persuade the readers is the claim of dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the Plaza resulting in a decrease of the number of shoppers. If the amount of litter and vandalism has risen, it should equally affect skateboarding and not only their business. The jumping on to this conclusion shows the confined perception of the author. So, the prohibition of skateboarding in the plaza is no solution to regain the former business levels.
Last but not the least, the skateboarders may be interested in buying stuff related to the sport from the Plaza shops thereby increasing their business. If skateboarding is prohibited, the stores may suffer a further loss.
To conclude, I would say that due to paucity of data, confined thinking, and insufficient research on the reasons behind the downfall,the argument is not enough persuasive. Encompassing of the possible reasons for decline in the business, buttressing the assumptions made with data, and a wide perception could have aided in the effectiveness of the argument.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
---|---|---|---|
2013-11-15 | amime21 | 50 | view |
2013-06-18 | vish | 90 | view |
2013-06-04 | champnehsam | 50 | view |
2013-03-28 | okoronkwoac | 65 | view |
2012-12-21 | kettyabc | 90 | view |
- The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books."We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because i 50
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people enjoy life more than older people do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 65
- TOEFL integrated writing Altruism 78
- The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner."Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central 45
Sentence: Again, there is a lack of authenticity and the reason behind the owners' belief of decline in business due to to the increase in the number of skateboard users in the Plaza has not been well supported with facts and figures.
Description: The word due is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to due
Description: The fragment to to contains a repeated word
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 454 350
No. of Characters: 2192 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.616 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.828 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.712 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.895 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.347 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5