Question: Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays there is a much heated debate over the parents regarding the awards such as a certain amount of money that they should be given to their children after each high grade that they receive. I disagree and believe that parents should not give money to their children even though they get good grades.
Firstly, it must be taken into consideration that not all the students are gifted in academics. If a parent tells his child "I will give you fifty box if you get a A in math" that will create a lot of stress, especially so if that child is not mathematically inclined. For example, my brother it was not good in athletics, he tried to gain some athletic power, but he did not succeed on that skill. I remember one day my further told him that he will give him a considerable amount of money if he try hard to get a A in athletics. My further did that because he thought to motivate him more. But it did not work because it was not that my brother did not want the money. In reality he could not reach that grade. Consequently, he felt very bad about it. This experience proved me that it is impossible trying to motivate children by offering money because other factors may contribute in their capability.
Secondly, there has to be a deeper meaning to life rather than the all-consuming desire to possess more wealth. Children should understand that being successful in life does not mean that money is the first thing that you get. Money is one good thing that comes, but is not all. The satisfaction that people get when they have been successful is the good feeling that they experience. As can be seen, the high grades bring other pleasure rather than money alone. So, children should focus to experience that feeling instead.
In conclusion, although there are those who hold this idea that parents should award their kids after they get a high score. It seem to me that not all students are blessed in academics, art or sports, so we should not force them in something that they are not good at, but instead encourage them to do even better in thinks that they really like and are skilled for.
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| 2020-01-08 | Opak Pulup | 70 | view |
| 2020-01-04 | mazenghonem | 66 | view |
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| 2019-11-23 | green ni | 60 | view |
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- TPO 24- integrated writing task 86
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 168, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: a
...os;I will give you fifty box if you get a A in math' that will create a lot of...
^^^
Line 4, column 168, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'a' or 'A' is left.
Suggestion: a; A
...os;I will give you fifty box if you get a A in math' that will create a lot of...
^^^
Line 4, column 508, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'tries'.
Suggestion: tries
...im a considerable amount of money if he try hard to get a A in athletics. My furthe...
^^^
Line 4, column 524, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: a
...e amount of money if he try hard to get a A in athletics. My further did that becau...
^^^
Line 4, column 524, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'a' or 'A' is left.
Suggestion: a; A
...e amount of money if he try hard to get a A in athletics. My further did that becau...
^^^
Line 8, column 129, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'seems'?
Suggestion: seems
...ir kids after they get a high score. It seem to me that not all students are blessed...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, firstly, if, may, really, regarding, second, secondly, so, as to, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 25.0 11.0286738351 227% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 71.0 43.0788530466 165% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 36.0 52.1666666667 69% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1750.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 383.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.56919060052 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42384287591 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45776934979 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.511749347258 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 532.8 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.7826253626 48.9658058833 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.1052631579 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1578947368 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.68421052632 5.45110844103 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.259932362451 0.236089414692 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0772113919154 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0629885025748 0.0737576698707 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171428792032 0.150856017488 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0529194600667 0.0645574589148 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.23 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.06 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 86.8835125448 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.