The bar graph shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Home/Writing/Bài mẫu Band 9 Writing task 1/Biểu đồ thể hiện cơ cấu/ so sánh/Pie chart (Biểu đồ tròn)/#03: Pie chart - Australian household energy use & greenhouse gas emission
#02: Bar chart - Digital games sales
The bar graph shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words
The bar chart compares the turnover in dollars from sales of video games for four different platforms, namely mobile phones, online, consoles and handheld devices, from 2000 to 2006.
It is clear that sales of games for three out of the four platforms rose each year, leading to a significant rise in total global turnover over the 7-year period. Sales figures for handheld games were at least twice as high as those for any other platform in almost every year.
In 2000, worldwide sales of handheld games stood at around $11 billion, while console games earned just under $6 billion. No figures are given for mobile or online games in that year. Over the next 3 years, sales of handheld video games rose by about $4 billion, but the figure for consoles decreased by $2 billion. Mobile phone and online games started to become popular, with sales reaching around $3 billion in 2003.
In 2006, sales of handheld, online and mobile games reached peaks of 17, 9 and 7 billion dollars respectively. By contrast, turnover from console games dropped to its lowest point, at around $2.5 billion.
- The table shows the number of employees and factories producing silk in England and Wales between 1851 and 1901.Link table: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bN1Kakm812OcI3ntl5QQlne_RNQC5d_M/view?u... 78
- The bar graph shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. 78
- The table shows the number of employees and factories producing silk in England and Wales between 1851 and 1901.Link table: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bN1Kakm812OcI3ntl5QQlne_RNQC5d_M/view?u... 78
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 37, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'task' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'tasks'.
Suggestion: tasks
Home/Writing/Bài mẫu Band 9 Writing task 1/Biểu đồ thể hiện cơ cấu/ so sánh/Pie ...
^^^^
Line 14, column 108, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n, while console games earned just under billion. No figures are given for mobile...
^^
Line 14, column 247, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...es of handheld video games rose by about billion, but the figure for consoles dec...
^^
Line 14, column 249, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a billion'.
Suggestion: a billion
... of handheld video games rose by about billion, but the figure for consoles decreased ...
^^^^^^^
Line 14, column 298, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...but the figure for consoles decreased by billion. Mobile phone and online games s...
^^
Line 14, column 392, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...come popular, with sales reaching around billion in 2003. In 2006, sales of ha...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, so, while, at least
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 7.0 43% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 6.8 132% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.15609756098 95% => OK
Pronoun: 6.0 5.60731707317 107% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 33.7804878049 124% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 3.97073170732 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1325.0 965.302439024 137% => OK
No of words: 257.0 196.424390244 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15564202335 4.92477711251 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.00390054096 3.73543355544 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47674091542 2.65546596893 93% => OK
Unique words: 152.0 106.607317073 143% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.591439688716 0.547539520022 108% => OK
syllable_count: 376.2 283.868780488 133% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 1.53170731707 65% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.33902439024 46% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.482926829268 207% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 3.36585365854 208% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 8.94146341463 123% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.4926829268 102% => OK
Sentence length SD: 76.599635327 43.030603864 178% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.454545455 112.824112599 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3636363636 22.9334400587 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.54545454545 5.23603664747 49% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 9.0 3.83414634146 235% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 1.69756097561 353% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 3.70975609756 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 1.13902439024 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.09268292683 122% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.405775088378 0.215688989381 188% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.158882144797 0.103423049105 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.13471554136 0.0843802449381 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.216035389633 0.15604864568 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.209226298374 0.0819641961636 255% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 13.2329268293 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 61.2550243902 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.3012195122 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 11.4140731707 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.06136585366 106% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 40.7170731707 150% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 11.4329268293 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.9970731707 102% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.0658536585 163% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.