SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's original headquarters. Moreover, Middlesburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, Supercorp clearly made the best decision.
First of all, the surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville might be caused by several reasons: lower housing price, governmental subsides or other issues, such as that Middlesburg might be superior than Corporateville so existed homeowners rarely change or sell their house, causing smaller change in the number of homeowners in Middlesburg. Therefore, it's not a proper way to infer that Corporateville if superior than Middlesburg in terms of the change of the homeowner number.
Secondly, the workers of SuperCorp prefer to live in an non-urban area, that does not mean the any rustic or suburban area would be a good choice. The employee might consider more criteria when they're thinking about moving to another place. For example, they might prefer convenient place but Corporateville might not be a superior place than Middlesburg in terms of convenience. In this sense, moving to Corporateville simply by one survey result seems a very risky and expensive approach.
Other than that, lower taxes does not guarentee that Corporateville has lower living cost. The living cost of one place may consist of taxes, food prices, rents and transportation prices, etc, so it's hard to say lower taxes means lower living costs.
Let's assume Corporateville really stands as a cheaper place to live, in the paragraph is implys "Corporateville is not only a safer but a cheaper place to work, therefore workers would love it". Again, employee in SuperCorp might consider more situation other than cost and safety, it is definitely wrong to infer that "safer and cheaper place is superior than others as a living area".
In my opinion, the only way to prove that Corporateville is a better living place than Middlesburg is to make a thoroughgoing comparision between these two places, and ask its employee that: "What if you have to choose between Corporateville and Middlesburg as our next headquarters region, which one would you prefer?", and Corporateville get selected more than Middlesburg. Other than that I would consider as risky way to select headquarter place, and by the context SuperCorp definitely falls into mistakes and makes a risky decision.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 351 350
No. of Characters: 1768 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.328 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.037 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.967 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.541 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.403 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.682 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 210, Rule ID: SUPERIOR_THAN[1]
Message: The adjective superior is normally used with 'to'.
Suggestion: to
...h as that Middlesburg might be superior than Corporateville so existed homeowners ra...
^^^^
Line 1, column 365, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...f homeowners in Middlesburg. Therefore, its not a proper way to infer that Corporat...
^^^
Line 1, column 427, Rule ID: SUPERIOR_THAN[1]
Message: The adjective superior is normally used with 'to'.
Suggestion: to
...o infer that Corporateville if superior than Middlesburg in terms of the change of t...
^^^^
Line 3, column 54, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... workers of SuperCorp prefer to live in an non-urban area, that does not mean the ...
^^
Line 3, column 195, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: they're
...loyee might consider more criteria when theyre thinking about moving to another place....
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...ower taxes means lower living costs. Lets assume Corporateville really stands as ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 372, Rule ID: SUPERIOR_THAN[1]
Message: The adjective superior is normally used with 'to'.
Suggestion: to
...pos;safer and cheaper place is superior than others as a living area'. In my...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, such as, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 16.3942115768 18% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1854.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 350.0 441.139720559 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29714285714 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32530772707 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.16312426282 2.78398813304 114% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.505714285714 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 577.8 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 90.7150606141 57.8364921388 157% => OK
Chars per sentence: 154.5 119.503703932 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.1666666667 23.324526521 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.25 5.70786347227 162% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.356909220392 0.218282227539 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.137250247004 0.0743258471296 185% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0638338196619 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.197158833595 0.128457276422 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0547880394557 0.0628817314937 87% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.1 14.3799401198 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.58 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.05 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.55 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 98.500998004 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.