At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay topics:

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

DespiteDespite some obvious disadvantages of this trend , i would argue that these these " style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 19.36px; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">are outweighed by the advantages .
On the one hand, there are two major drawbacks when the number of young adults is higher than that of elderly people. The first one is that the country may not have enough job for each people. The amount of unemployee will increase significantly. The economy of the country may have troubles and government need to take steps immediately to address these problem. Another one is the community service is not enough for everyone. For instance the child-care, health service, education and so on may can not available to serve the large of young people.
On the other hand, I would argue that these disadvantages are are " style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 19.36px; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">overweighed by the advantages. Firstly,the large number they will will " style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 19.36px; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">provide a resource of high labor to adapt with the need of society. From that, the economy as GDP of a country may rise significantly. Besides that, the cost for old people service like health caring will declines remarkably. these money can be used to buid more school, upgrade the infrastructure and so on. More and more children will will " style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 19.36px; white-space: pre-wrap; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">have the chance to go to school and hospital can upgrade their facilities to cure for more people.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the edges of the numerous of young adults are more profound than the drawbacks. because the government does not have to tackle with a lot of problem when the figure for youngsters is higher than that of the elderly.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 56, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...some obvious disadvantages of this trend , i would argue that these these ' s...
^^
Line 1, column 59, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...e obvious disadvantages of this trend , i would argue that these these ' sty...
^
Line 1, column 78, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: these
...ages of this trend , i would argue that these these ' style='color: rgb51, 51, 51...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 248, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...;'>are outweighed by the advantages . On the one hand, there are two major d...
^^
Line 2, column 248, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...unemployee will increase significantly. The economy of the country may have trouble...
^^^
Line 2, column 350, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this problem' or 'these problems'?
Suggestion: this problem; these problems
...ed to take steps immediately to address these problem. Another one is the community service i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 59, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: are
... I would argue that these disadvantages are are ' style='color: rgb51, 51, 51...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 230, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...;>overweighed by the advantages. Firstly,the large number they will will ' styl...
^^^^
Line 3, column 253, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: will
...vantages. Firstly,the large number they will will ' style='color: rgb51, 51, 51...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 594, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'decline'
Suggestion: decline
... people service like health caring will declines remarkably. these money can be used to ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 615, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: These
...health caring will declines remarkably. these money can be used to buid more school, ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 615, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...health caring will declines remarkably. these money can be used to buid more school, upgrad...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 721, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: will
...cture and so on. More and more children will will ' style='color: rgb51, 51, 51...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 77, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he edges of the numerous of young adults are more profound than the drawbacks. be...
^^
Line 4, column 116, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
... are more profound than the drawbacks. because the government does not have to tackle ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 168, Rule ID: A_LOT_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: 'a lot of problems'.
Suggestion: a lot of problems
...government does not have to tackle with a lot of problem when the figure for youngsters is highe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, first, firstly, if, may, so, for instance, in conclusion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 7.85571142285 216% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 24.0651302605 83% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 41.998997996 83% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1708.0 1615.20841683 106% => OK
No of words: 307.0 315.596192385 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.56351791531 5.12529762239 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18585898806 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.68467884938 2.80592935109 131% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 176.041082164 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.482084690554 0.561755894193 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 477.0 506.74238477 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 6.0 2.52805611222 237% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.9579582064 49.4020404114 140% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.866666667 106.682146367 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4666666667 20.7667163134 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.6 7.06120827912 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 16.0 5.01903807615 319% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.4128256513 176% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0958503996937 0.244688304435 39% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0384677148744 0.084324248473 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0370155209865 0.0667982634062 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0693545831297 0.151304729494 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0332738683591 0.056905535591 58% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 13.0946893788 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 50.2224549098 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.97 12.4159519038 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.58950901804 88% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 78.4519038076 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.7795591182 139% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.