Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies
The argument that Pirouettes Ballet School is the first choice for any child is based on the effectiveness of the school. The author tries to convince the reader that Pirouettes has the most intense and effective programs and further contend that it has one of the renowned staffs where they were seen dancing in the most prestigious ballet companies all around the world. It also further adds that the alumni of the schools had become professional dancers with top dance companies. While the line of reasoning seems clear and persuasive, it has committed insufficient data fallacy, biased data fallacy, and questionable cause fallacy. As it seems now, the author have to make a sturdy research on this argument and provide some relevant statistics to make this argument clear and convincing.
First of all, the author makes a statement that Pirouettes has most intensive programs. Although, the author tried to strengthen his point with this statement; but he committed serious fallacy of insufficient data. The degree of intensiveness must be defined by the author. What if it is compared with the institute whose intensiveness lowest? What if it is not comparing with the top institution? The degree of the most should be properly defined by the author. The author tried to present a region to make his point that Pirouettes has most intensive program in the 'Elmtown'. What if the Elmtown has only two such Ballet school and the comparison of Pirouettes is with one of the worst institution of the whole country. Obviously, that doesn't make Pirouettes to have the most intensive program in the whole country. The author should provide the light to the reader about the other institution of the Elmtown and the statistics must be provided about the comparison. As for now, due to lack of sufficient data, the argument seems absurd.
Secondly, The author tried to make a point by introducing how good the staffs are of the school; but has overlooked the other possibilities and has committed even serious fallacy of biased sample. What if out of 90 teachers, only 2 have been participating in the prestigious ballet companies all around the world, this doesn't make Pirouettes any better. This data insufficiency has created biggest loop hole in the author point and makes reader to think about the other possibilities. Several questions can be raised about the possibilities like what are the most prestigious ballet companies we are taking about, are they most competitive one? Do they have any other extra features that could be consider which makes them most prestigious? What was the time author wrote this argument about having the company prestigious, is it still? if not, the students might have to look for another institutions as they might doubt with the potential of the staffs of the Ballet school.
Finally, the author made a statement about the alumni of the Ballet school, and commits the questionable cause fallacy. Whether other students in the past have been professional dancers or not is irrelevant with the efficiency of the current students. What if, in the past, actually the Ballet school was one of the top institution and it has intensive program and now, it has only worsen which weakens the author claim that students who will learn Ballet will be professionals. Further research must be done by the author to make his point more persuasive and sturdy; as for now it seems that he has been mistaken with correlation for causation.
In sum, The argument neither seems sound nor convincing since it overlooks many possibilities of insufficiency in data, and questionable cause. It must address the possibilities of how the dance school has most intensive program with adequate research and should provide proper statistics to make argument more convincing.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 627 350
No. of Characters: 3100 1500
No. of Different Words: 223 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.004 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.944 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.734 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 214 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 152 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 108 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 78 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.393 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.748 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.536 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.33 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.368 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 678, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'sturdy research'.
Suggestion: sturdy research
...s it seems now, the author have to make a sturdy research on this argument and provide some relev...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 738, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...n of the whole country. Obviously, that doesnt make Pirouettes to have the most intens...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 320, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...et companies all around the world, this doesnt make Pirouettes any better. This data i...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 383, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'created the biggest'.
Suggestion: created the biggest
...any better. This data insufficiency has created biggest loop hole in the author point and makes...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 838, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...g the company prestigious, is it still? if not, the students might have to look fo...
^^
Line 4, column 383, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'worsened'.
Suggestion: worsened
... intensive program and now, it has only worsen which weakens the author claim that stu...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, if, look, second, secondly, so, still, then, while, as for, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3164.0 2260.96107784 140% => OK
No of words: 625.0 441.139720559 142% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0624 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.0 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79818638407 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.3872 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 959.4 705.55239521 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.1206107977 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.103448276 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5517241379 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.75862068966 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.342666328408 0.218282227539 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103716127073 0.0743258471296 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0924649823394 0.0701772020484 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.214037621327 0.128457276422 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0777046460552 0.0628817314937 124% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.46 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.