"In order to save a considerable amount of money, Rockingham's century-old town hall should be torn down and replaced by the larger and more energy-efficient building that some citizens have proposed. The old town hall is too small to comfortably accommodate the number of people who are employed by the town. In addition, it is very costly to heat the old hall in winter and cool it in summer. The new, larger building would be more energy efficient, costing less per square foot to heat and cool than the old hall. Furthermore, it would be possible to rent out some of the space in the new building, thereby generating income for the town of Rockingham."
While it may be true that the citizens ought to devote more money to Rockingham's century-old town hall , this author's argument does not make a cogent case for cost required to built a new town hall and also there no other important problems in town which are to be addressed. It is easy to understand why city residents would want a new town hall, but this argument is rife with holes and assumptions, and thus, not strong enough to lead to increased funding.
To begin with, author refers that the new building would be more energy efficient, moreover its costing is less per square feet to heat and cool compare to the old hall, but it fails to mention how much time will it take to compensate the money required to built the new town hall from reduction of cost to heat and cool, additionally by renting some space .if the time taken is very long then is no point in reconstruction of town hall
secondly,author did not consider the idea of fixing the town hall by making necessary changes, for instance changing equipment which are used for heating and cooling, with equipment which are more efficient, use less electricity and also rather than demolishing the whole building just expand on those sides where it is possible,with this alot of money can be saved additionally create some space for renting without demolishing it.
thirdly, writer of this argument failed to acknowledge whether there are other important issues are that needed to be addressed and money required here can invested in more important issues for example building schools and hospitals, if present improve their conditions, so that i could be beneficial for whole town starting from children to elderly people.
lastly, that citizens who have proposed this proposal represent the diverse people, is these can accurately be consider as requirement of whole town members, for instance, people who requested for town may be the employees of town hall may they want a new office for their personal benefit and also the people who have proposed are not aware of other problems in the town which are needed to addressed.
Saving electricity always saves money and also a good thing to do. but the argument presented by author, is an efficient way to do it, i don't think so. Since, this author's argument is plagued with numerous fallacies, it is not likely significant to persuade the city government to allocate increased funding.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Poor. The essay is not right on the point.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 103, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ney to Rockinghams century-old town hall , this authors argument does not make a c...
^^
Line 3, column 128, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...over its costing is less per square feet to heat and cool compare to the old hal...
^^
Line 3, column 146, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s less per square feet to heat and cool compare to the old hall, but it fails to...
^^
Line 3, column 359, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...cool, additionally by renting some space .if the time taken is very long then is n...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
...point in reconstruction of town hall secondly,author did not consider the idea of fix...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , author
... reconstruction of town hall secondly,author did not consider the idea of fixing the...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 329, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , with
...pand on those sides where it is possible,with this alot of money can be saved additio...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thirdly
... for renting without demolishing it. thirdly, writer of this argument failed to ackn...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 280, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...esent improve their conditions, so that i could be beneficial for whole town star...
^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Lastly
...ing from children to elderly people. lastly, that citizens who have proposed this ...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 26, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rly people. lastly, that citizens who have proposed this proposal represent th...
^^
Line 11, column 19, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eded to addressed. Saving electricity always saves money and also a good thing...
^^
Line 11, column 139, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...author, is an efficient way to do it, i dont think so. Since, this authors argument ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, lastly, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, while, for example, for instance, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2011.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 410.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90487804878 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49982852243 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64041279115 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514634146341 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 624.6 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 19.7664670659 40% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 51.0 22.8473053892 223% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 244.777673359 57.8364921388 423% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 251.375 119.503703932 210% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 51.25 23.324526521 220% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 16.875 5.70786347227 296% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.270182034083 0.218282227539 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114713730887 0.0743258471296 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0903602500214 0.0701772020484 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143495529292 0.128457276422 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.070384253044 0.0628817314937 112% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 27.3 14.3799401198 190% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 28.17 48.3550499002 58% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 22.0 12.197005988 180% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.03 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.44 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.0 12.3882235529 137% => OK
gunning_fog: 22.4 11.1389221557 201% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 22.0 11.9071856287 185% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.