“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
Passage concludes or proposes that in order to increase profit without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices,we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores .In order to support this conclusion author has come up with certain evidences .However on a deeper scrutiny it is revealed that none of the evidences land credible support to the conclusion let us scrutinize them further
Firstly,author said that In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits ,we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten videos rental stores author must think that its not only operating expenses which will reduce ,reverse the recent decline of profit there different other factor like transportation cost of goods,cost at which he is purchasing the video disk,total number of worker working in the shop,items purchased per day,rent of their shop,what is the choice of the people.
Secondly,author said that last month our store in downtown Marston significantly descreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M rather than 9:00 P.M. and reducing its stock by eliminating released more than five years ago Author unfairely generalize that operating expenses are the only factor which can reduce the decline in profit. and giving video at low price is not the only factor that contribute to the reversal of decline of profits.
Thirdly ,author mentions that in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices ,we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores Author has forgotten that all other stores do not follow the same trend as the first shop does their are different key things on which profit depends like how many target customers are there at that place ,what's the demand their in that particular area.
After having seen the above discussion ,we come to know that the proposal has not been substantiated by the evidences provided by the author.The evidences hold inherent weakness.Thus ,the author must bring more data into consideration to make such conclusion.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 5 15
No. of Words: 351 350
No. of Characters: 1759 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.328 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.011 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.57 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 70.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.878 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.571 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 1 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.303 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 139, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , we
... for offering great movies at low prices,we recommend implementing similar changes ...
^^^
Line 1, column 220, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...s in our other nine Movies Galore stores .In order to support this conclusion auth...
^^
Line 1, column 222, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...in our other nine Movies Galore stores .In order to support this conclusion author...
^^
Line 1, column 299, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...uthor has come up with certain evidences .However on a deeper scrutiny it is revea...
^^
Line 1, column 301, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...hor has come up with certain evidences .However on a deeper scrutiny it is revealed tha...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 442, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...onclusion let us scrutinize them further Firstly,author said that In order to rev...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , author
...t us scrutinize them further Firstly,author said that In order to reverse the recen...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 79, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...everse the recent decline in our profits ,we must reduce operating expenses at Mov...
^^
Line 3, column 230, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...nly operating expenses which will reduce ,reverse the recent decline of profit the...
^^
Line 3, column 331, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , cost
...factor like transportation cost of goods,cost at which he is purchasing the video dis...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 377, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , total
...at which he is purchasing the video disk,total number of worker working in the shop,it...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 420, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , items
...tal number of worker working in the shop,items purchased per day,rent of their shop,wh...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 444, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , rent
...king in the shop,items purchased per day,rent of their shop,what is the choice of the...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 463, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , what
...ems purchased per day,rent of their shop,what is the choice of the people. Secondl...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , author
...is the choice of the people. Secondly,author said that last month our store in downt...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 137, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: M
...operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M rather than 9:00 P.M. and reducing its ...
^
Line 5, column 198, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...M. and reducing its stock by eliminating released more than five years ago Autho...
^^
Line 5, column 233, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ating released more than five years ago Author unfairely generalize that operati...
^^
Line 5, column 347, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: And
...which can reduce the decline in profit. and giving video at low price is not the on...
^^^
Line 7, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ersal of decline of profits. Thirdly ,author mentions that in order to increas...
^^
Line 7, column 136, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... for offering great movies at low prices ,we recommend implementing similar change...
^^
Line 7, column 314, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...w the same trend as the first shop does their are different key things on which profi...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 423, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...target customers are there at that place ,whats the demand their in that particula...
^^
Line 7, column 425, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: what's
...rget customers are there at that place ,whats the demand their in that particular are...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 39, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... After having seen the above discussion ,we come to know that the proposal has no...
^^
Line 9, column 142, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...by the evidences provided by the author.The evidences hold inherent weakness.Thus ,...
^^^
Line 9, column 179, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
...or.The evidences hold inherent weakness.Thus ,the author must bring more data into c...
^^^^
Line 9, column 183, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...he evidences hold inherent weakness.Thus ,the author must bring more data into con...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, third, thirdly, thus, as for
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 19.6327345309 41% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1800.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 338.0 441.139720559 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32544378698 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28774723029 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75093205731 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.547337278107 0.468620217663 117% => OK
syllable_count: 558.9 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 5.0 19.7664670659 25% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 67.0 22.8473053892 293% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 284.391701707 57.8364921388 492% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 360.0 119.503703932 301% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 67.6 23.324526521 290% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 16.0 5.70786347227 280% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 28.0 5.25449101796 533% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.303683523289 0.218282227539 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.161137640731 0.0743258471296 217% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0843366537053 0.0701772020484 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162387530671 0.128457276422 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0804074639136 0.0628817314937 128% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 37.5 14.3799401198 261% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -4.99 48.3550499002 -10% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 14.6 7.1628742515 204% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 30.6 12.197005988 251% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 14.82 12.5979740519 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.93 8.32208582834 131% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 58.0 12.3882235529 468% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 28.8 11.1389221557 259% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.