Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Successful atheletes can geat a big amount of salary more than people in the other job such as teacher or nurse. Some people believe that this is acceptable while others think it is unfair. I am completely agree with the first statement that say great atheletes is fair to get a big salary, because there are some reasons why they need to get achieve more such as limited time to work, their highly risk of profession, and help to make proud their nationality.
Important professions such as teacher or nurse are very important for hte society life. Teacher or lecture educates many people and nurse or doctor helps someone from their illness or tragedy. Their professions are very useful for the social life or society, because that is their concern. On contrary, outstanding atheletes get paid more than them. Some people think is very unfair. How could be the job such as athelete can get take home pay more than other essential job? There are some reasons ehy successful atheletes should get paid more.
Firstly, Athelete’s profession has a limited time. They can spent about twenty years of their life, until their body strengh decrease. For instance, player of football has a retired time around thirty five years old until forty years old (just goalkepper position can hold a bit longer). On the other hand, the profession of the doctor, nurse, teacher, or lecture can work until 60 years old.
Secondly, the high risk of their job. The profession such as atheletes can be injured and sometimes death cause by the condition. They put their life in highly challenge. For example, some of the football players cannot continue their career because their leg is broke. Sometimes they get injured also in their practice moment. Another instance is the journey of the boxing player. Many boxers are death cause by the match. Their activity is dangerous for their life. They get punch in many places of their body . The job of doctor, nurse, teacher not face same problem.
Thirdly, they can make their country proud. Aryton Senna, one of the driver of Formula One racing always bring his flag (Brazil) and fly it into the air from his chair when he winning the racing. Brazillian is very proud of him, and in the 90’s, he became on of the famous driverin this world (before he died in the circuit because of an accident). The Olimpian also make their country proud, because it was very hard to achieve and became the champion of Olimpiade. They need daily practice, sometimes fasting and sacrifice their time with their family to take that.
In my sum, the essential job such as doctor and teacher have some good reasons to get higher salary because their competition, but on the other hand, successful sportman should get paid more because their face many dramatical problem. I completely agree with that idea.
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I am completely agree with the first statement
I completely agree with the first statement
such as athelete can get take home pay more than other essential job?
such as athelete can get paid more than other essential job?
Sentence: They can spent about twenty years of their life, until their body strengh decrease.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to can and spent
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to body and strengh
Sentence: The profession such as atheletes can be injured and sometimes death cause by the condition.
Description: The fragment and sometimes death is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace sometimes with adjective
Sentence: The Olimpian also make their country proud,
Sentence: The Olimpian also makes their country proud,
the essential job such as doctor and teacher have some good reasons to get higher salary
the essential jobs such as doctor and teacher have some good reasons to get higher salary
Sentence: Successful atheletes can geat a big amount of salary more than people in the other job such as teacher or nurse.
Error: atheletes Suggestion: athletes
Error: geat Suggestion: great
Sentence: I am completely agree with the first statement that say great atheletes is fair to get a big salary, because there are some reasons why they need to get achieve more such as limited time to work, their highly risk of profession, and help to make proud their nationality.
Error: atheletes Suggestion: athletes
Sentence: Important professions such as teacher or nurse are very important for hte society life.
Error: hte Suggestion: the
Sentence: On contrary, outstanding atheletes get paid more than them.
Error: atheletes Suggestion: athletes
Sentence: How could be the job such as athelete can get take home pay more than other essential job?
Error: athelete Suggestion: athlete
Sentence: There are some reasons ehy successful atheletes should get paid more.
Error: atheletes Suggestion: athletes
Error: ehy Suggestion: why
Sentence: They can spent about twenty years of their life, until their body strengh decrease.
Error: strengh Suggestion: strength
Sentence: For instance, player of football has a retired time around thirty five years old until forty years old just goalkepper position can hold a bit longer.
Error: goalkepper Suggestion: ?
Sentence: The profession such as atheletes can be injured and sometimes death cause by the condition.
Error: atheletes Suggestion: athletes
Sentence: Brazillian is very proud of him, and in the 90's, he became on of the famous driverin this world before he died in the circuit because of an accident.
Error: driverin Suggestion: driver
Sentence: In my sum, the essential job such as doctor and teacher have some good reasons to get higher salary because their competition, but on the other hand, successful sportman should get paid more because their face many dramatical problem.
Error: dramatical Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: sportman Suggestion: sportsman
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.581 21.0
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
No. of Sentences: 31 15
No. of Words: 483 350
No. of Characters: 2262 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.688 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.683 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.221 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.581 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.918 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.484 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.254 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.461 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5