Imprisonment for violent crimes should be made as unpleasant as possible in order to deter potential offenders from committing such crimes. - GRE Issue 114

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Imprisonment for violent crimes should be made as unpleasant as possible in order to deter potential offenders from committing such crimes. - GRE Issue 114

The speaker contends that ifprison conditions are made "as unpleasant as possible" then potential violent criminals would be deterred from committing crimes. I strongly disagree. History makes dear that so-called "tough-on-crime" approaches are simply not effective crime deterrents. Moreover, the speaker recommends a policy that would serve to undermine two other important objectives of incarceration, and that would run contrary to certain countervailing societal interests.

In light of all the conveniences that our society provides its prisoners today, it might be tempting to agree with the speaker. Violent criminals tend to come from neighborhoods where drug trafficking, vandalism and burglary, and therefore violent crime are commonplace. For these individuals prison can be a haven--a comparatively secure place where inmates are provided with room, board, health care, exercise facilities, and so forth. Accordingly, unless prison life is made more unpleasant overall than life outside prison walls, individuals will not be deterred from committing violent crimes.

Conceding this point, I nevertheless find the speaker's contention dubious at best. Even assuming that potential criminals are made aware of the unpleasantness that awaits them behind bars--for example, through the various "scared straight" social programs that are popular in inner-city schools today--for three reasons the deterrent effect of the speaker's proposed policy would be negligible. First, most violent criminals are relatively young; and young people tend to act impetuously, to lack self-restraint, and to disregard potential adverse consequences of their actions. Second, recent genetic research reveals that violent behavior is largely the result of genetic makeup rather than environmental factors; thus attempts to deter "born criminals" are unlikely to succeed. Third, consider the various means of public execution used throughout history: crucifixion, burning at the stake, hanging, and so forth. While I have no doubt that these shocking public displays have always deterred crime, extreme unpleasantness behind modern prison walls would simply not be sufficiently gruesome or public to effectively deter potential criminals.

Even if I were to concede that severely unpleasant prison conditions would serve to reduce the incidence of violent crime, following the speaker's advice would risk thwarting two other purposes of incarcerating criminals: to reform them and to quarantine them. If prison conditions are made too severe, then any attempt to reform--whether it be through education, psychological counseling, or work programs--~ght have little effect on inmates, who upon release from prison would lash out at the society that subjected them to such severe conditions. Moreover, the chief reason we imprison dangerous individuals is to quarantine them--that is, to protect ourselves from them. Thus as long as prisons are secure, living conditions in those prisons are incidental.

Finally, the speaker overlooks certain competing public-policy considerations. One such consideration is our constitutional right to due process of law, by which convicted criminals have the right to appeal their convictions. If prison conditions are made extremely harsh, then any eventual acquittal might be little consolation for the wrongfully accused inmate who has already been forced to suffer those harsh conditions. Secondly, the speaker recommends a course of action that might sanction abuse of inmates by prison officials and guards. Thirdly, the argument overlooks all the ways in which prison inmates serve society in productive ways while in prison. For example, many prisons have recently instituted programs by which inmates refurbish used computers for use in public schools. A prison whose conditions are "as unpleasant as possible" might consider such programs too pleasant for inmates, and decline to participate; and society would be worse off as a result.

In sum, I find the speaker's contention indefensible in light of numerous countervailing considerations. In the final analysis, history informs us that violent crime is a universal and timeless social problem, and that no manner of punishment can eliminate it.

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Sentence: The speaker contends that ifprison conditions are made 'as unpleasant as possible' then potential violent criminals would be deterred from committing crimes.
Error: ifprison Suggestion: if prison

flaws:
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 628 350
No. of Characters: 3512 1500
No. of Different Words: 319 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.006 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.592 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.946 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 289 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 228 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 160 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 114 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.259 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.039 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.491 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5