Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such high salaries? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
At first glance, it seems very difficult for us to draw a definite conclusion that giving high salaries to athletes and entertainers are wrong. Because it may have both advantages and disadvantages. However after serious considerations we can see that under most circumstances , such high salaries given to them is inequable. My arguments for this attiude is listed below.
One of the primary reasons of this inequality, indisputable fact that the education is one of the most important key factors of development of a country, Since the average salary of a teacher is around 30000$ per year. Soc...
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2015-09-29 | reemalobaidi | 70 | view |
- Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 73
- If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what change would you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer 83
- A person you know is planning to move to your town or city.what do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town and city ? Why ? Use specific reasons and details to support your explanation. 80
- Should governments spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should governments spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. 74
- Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designedprimarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 77
Comments
Thank you very much.And sorry
Thank you very much.And sorry for double posting.I thought my essay wasn't submitted.
Sentence: All in all, I admit that they entertainers and athletes are gifted, and I don't underestimate their abilities to enjoy big crowds but the entertainment shouldn't be the most important factor in someone's life.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and entertainers
Sentence: However after serious considerations we can see that under most circumstances , such high salaries given to them is inequable.
Error: inequable Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: My arguments for this attiude is listed below.
Error: attiude Suggestion: attitude
Sentence: High ammounts of money seduces them to try their luck on these areas and they ignore their education maybe other talents that they might have.
Error: ammounts Suggestion: amounts
Sentence: As we know, very low percentage of these youngsters being successful and the rest of them fails and has nothing valuable on their hands but the failure attempts on these areas.This results a huge disappointment on youngster and increasement on the unemployment.
Error: increasement Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: As far as I know in spain, Soccer players pay 40 percent of their income as taxes which equals high ammounts of money.
Error: ammounts Suggestion: amounts
Sentence: This may be implemented in many countries, Other than that Government can make laws that athlethes and entertainers may fund the social organizations which will decrese government's responsibilities.
Error: athlethes Suggestion: athletes
Error: decrese Suggestion: decrease
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
Good job. It is on top list:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/toefl
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 345 350
No. of Characters: 1688 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.31 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.893 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.987 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.618 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5