When a country develop its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

When a country develop its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Modern technology will make work easier than conventional methods. It causes traditional skills and ways of life die out, and it is useless to try and let them exist. In this case, I agree with development’s technology, but I disagree if people’s skills is considered as pointless because technology is helper, and ability is investment.

Development countries apply new technology to help their work. It is difficult for them to handle all of job by themselves. Therefore, they create a product to simplify their occupation. They can improve their capabilities in another sector or manage the others. For example, furniture companies have to export their products to America. They use internet to communicate with their buyers, and dealing in payment by transfering bank. They are not need to go to their countries to offer, deal, and send products. Thus, high endtechnology will help their business.

On the other hand, people’s skills are fixed investment in factories. Without them, business is nothing. For instance, in meubelair markets, carpenter is basic needs to produce furniture. Even, companies should hire the expert carpenter if they want to increase their selling. Moreover, they need good marketers to promote their goods. Combine of well abilities of employees and technology are rising income, so they are still save with their conventional system.

To sum up, agree when government supports new technology, but I disagree if it is considered as causes of skill’s extinct because technology is just helper, and humans’ abilities are still basic investment. Even, if they are combined, the country will be advance government.

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Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Comments

Sentence: Combine of well abilities of employees and technology are rising income, so they are still save with their conventional system.
Description: The word well is not usually used as an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to well

Sentence: They use internet to communicate with their buyers, and dealing in payment by transfering bank.
Error: transfering Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Thus, high endtechnology will help their business.
Error: endtechnology Suggestion: end technology

Sentence: For instance, in meubelair markets, carpenter is basic needs to produce furniture.
Error: meubelair Suggestion: ?

flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 9
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 260 350
No. of Characters: 1338 1500
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.016 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.146 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.803 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.684 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.673 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.258 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.443 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5