TPO40: some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get. Do you think this is a good idea?
There are lots of ways in modern education to motivate children and make them interested to study. Rewarding is a common attitude of encouragement among families and schools these days. But the way of rewarding has a significant importance in the process of children education and making them ready for real works in adult world. To my mind, it is not a good idea to reward children with money for each high mark they get. I think it's not a proper idea to encourage them to study for two main reasons.
To begin with, getting money is not an efficient and long-lasting incentive and object for studying. students should find their passion to pursue and goal for studying that can keep them in the way. a real and true motivation, makes people try hard and Indeed, keep trying! so If children find this real goal, they will study always, not just for money. even they face hard situations, even they feel exhausted, they won't give up. For instance, I have never got money for my grades throughout my study years. Maybe I received some little prizes at the end of some years but not regularly for each high-grade, and as a result, I learnt I should study for my own passions and reasons not just for money. And it was like a pleasant duty to me not just a boring task to earn money. And I believe I will reward in the future at work, with money, respect and knowledge.
moreover, If the children get used to it, they will expect to get money each time. It may make them greedy, they want more and maybe, the money doesn't satisfy them anymore. they won't stand a secession without getting prize or even any failure! so it will be a pressure on parents to prepare their expectations. And also as a consequence, maybe it creates an unhealthy competition among children for getting more money or staff. And then, the students that can’t afford it will be hurt.
To sum up, it seems to me that this kind of rewarding doesn't work well for school-age children. they should give their prize from themselves, as a result of their hard try. and it should make them happy deep inside of their hearts. And that's the way that they can keep trying in the future. although it is great to encourage them occasionally to show respect to their efforts.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 432, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...ey for each high mark they get. I think its not a proper idea to encourage them to ...
^^^
Line 3, column 102, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Students
...ting incentive and object for studying. students should find their passion to pursue and...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 200, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: A
...studying that can keep them in the way. a real and true motivation, makes people ...
^
Line 3, column 275, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...eople try hard and Indeed, keep trying! so If children find this real goal, they w...
^^
Line 3, column 321, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[9]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'study'.
Suggestion: always study
...children find this real goal, they will study always, not just for money. even they face har...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 355, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Even
... will study always, not just for money. even they face hard situations, even they fe...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Moreover
... with money, respect and knowledge. moreover, If the children get used to it, they w...
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Line 5, column 145, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...dy, they want more and maybe, the money doesnt satisfy them anymore. they wont stand a...
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Line 5, column 174, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
... the money doesnt satisfy them anymore. they wont stand a secession without getting ...
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Line 5, column 245, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: So
...hout getting prize or even any failure! so it will be a pressure on parents to pre...
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Line 7, column 55, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...seems to me that this kind of rewarding doesnt work well for school-age children. they...
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Line 7, column 97, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...esnt work well for school-age children. they should give their prize from themselves...
^^^^
Line 7, column 174, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: And
...mselves, as a result of their hard try. and it should make them happy deep inside o...
^^^
Line 7, column 237, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
... happy deep inside of their hearts. And thats the way that they can keep trying in th...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 292, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Although
...hat they can keep trying in the future. although it is great to encourage them occasiona...
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Line 7, column 292, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...hat they can keep trying in the future. although it is great to encourage them occasiona...
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Line 7, column 378, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nally to show respect to their efforts.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, moreover, so, then, well, for instance, i think, kind of, as a result, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1840.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 405.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.54320987654 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48604634366 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43291206556 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.511111111111 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 550.8 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.86738351254 428% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.0854836471 48.9658058833 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.0 100.406767564 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6086956522 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.5376344086 307% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.36386179137 0.236089414692 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100761720705 0.076458572812 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0854860754833 0.0737576698707 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.218168614311 0.150856017488 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.028114650346 0.0645574589148 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.8 11.7677419355 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.76 10.9000537634 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.13 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 86.8835125448 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.