Some people believe that playing video or mobile games has no benefits at all for your children while others think it can be a good hobby Which one do you agree with and why Use details and examples to support your answer | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

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Some people believe that playing video or mobile games has no benefits at all for your children while others think it can be a good hobby. Which one do you agree with and why? Use details and examples to support your answer.

There are many leisure activities in this modern era for our young generation. Playing video or mobile games are common these days. Some people think that these games are a good hobby for children. On the other hand, I personally believe that playing video games are complete waste of time and bad addiction for children.
To begin with, children these days are mostly indulge in playing video or mobile games. This activity waste their time, and they could not pay attention on their studies. Therefore, this has great impact on their grades. Children these days prefer to play video games instead of doing some productive activity. I think this is not beneficial hobby for them as they are not learning any information or moral lessons. For example, one of my cousins play these games all the time. Whenever I go to his house, he always plays these games. Moreover, he uses his phone for games if he goes out with us. He wastes a lot of time and do not pay attention on his studies. Last month, his result came out of 10th grade. Unfortunately, he failed in chemistry because he could not submit his assignment on time. This example demonstrates that extensively playing video games is not a good hobby, and sometimes it leads to bad results in exams as students waste most of their time in playing these games.
Secondly, I think these video games are becoming an addiction for children. This leads to miss a connection with their families. Whenever they go to family gatherings, they keep playing with their phones instead of spending quality time with their families. For instance, my younger brother always seeks opportunities to play games on his cell phone in gatherings. He does not make effort to get frank with others. Last month, we went to Georgia to see my grandfather. We all were sitting together in living room and talking to each other. Meanwhile my brother moved from there quietly and went to his room. When I came to his room to call him for dinner, I saw he was playing FIFA game on his phone and chatting with his friends. This thing disturbed me a lot because he told me that he does not want to miss this game. I felt that these games are very addicting, and children are forgetting their moral values by keeping themselves involve in playing these games.
In conclusion, although some may disagree, I firmly believe that playing video or mobile games are not beneficial for children because they waste a lot of time by doing so. In addition, this addiction has a bad influence on their moral values, and they miss the real bond with their family members.

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2020-09-11	sidsobe	70	view
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 47, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'indulged'.
Suggestion: indulged
...in with, children these days are mostly indulge in playing video or mobile games. This ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 540, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Meanwhile,
... living room and talking to each other. Meanwhile my brother moved from there quietly and...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 83.0 43.0788530466 193% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2132.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 454.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.69603524229 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4319135783 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.455947136564 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 657.9 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 22.0 9.59856630824 229% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.1458865106 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 73.5172413793 100.406767564 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.6551724138 20.6045352989 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.34482758621 5.45110844103 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.231728910338 0.236089414692 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0797866469645 0.076458572812 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.07816482319 0.0737576698707 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.186498831785 0.150856017488 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0614829443181 0.0645574589148 95% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.5 11.7677419355 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 58.1214874552 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.68 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.