The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people ten to twenty-five years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In his editorial in a business magazine, the author states that though there has been a decline in the sales of whirlwind video game over the past two years, that this case is about to be totally changed due to a survey carried out which asked the video game players what features they thought to be most important in a video game. The author has come to this conclusion based on the fact that whirlwind has introduced lifelike graphics in their video game with rigorous advertising programs centered at the age-group -people between the age of ten and twenty-five years old- most likely to play the video games. However, this argument is flawed based on two unwarranted assumptions.
To start with, the author assumed the decline of the sales of whirlwind video games was based solely on the lack of lifelike graphics in the video game as a result of the survey conducted. The author didn’t consider other factors that might be responsible for the drop in the sales of the video game over the past two years. For instance, there might have been an increase in the price of the games which would have discouraged the potential players of the game from purchasing it. In order for this argument to be more valid, the author needs to address the other factors that might have affected the sales of the video game.
In addition, the author stated that the lifelike graphics which were considered as the most important feature in a video game according to the survey carried out, and this lifelike graphics require the most up to date computers. The author assumes that such quality of computers is readily available to the players of the video games. The lack of this high quality computers would hinder the players from playing the game which would in turn not have a change in the current sales of the video game as they wouldn’t purchase it.
Lastly, the author also assumed that since whirlwind has produced games with lifelike graphics and has directed their advertising campaign to people in the ages between ten and twenty-five who would mostly likely play the games. The author didn’t consider that other age group might be most players of these video games and since the advertising program weren’t directed at them,
they would probably not be aware of the new changes made in the video games. In order for this argument to be considered, the author has to conduct more intensive survey to determine the actual age group that plays the video game.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is considered flawed due to reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author considers these other possibilities and perhaps conduct a systematic research study, then it will be possible to whether there will be an increase in the sales of whirlwind video game in the next few months.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 487 350
No. of Characters: 2274 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.698 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.669 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.399 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.387 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.439 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.439 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 343, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...st important in a video game. The author has come to this conclusion based on the...
^^
Line 1, column 505, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...igorous advertising programs centered at the age-group -people between the age of...
^^
Line 4, column 379, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tising program weren’t directed at them, they would probably not be aware of the ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, lastly, so, then, as to, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, to start with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2330.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 483.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.82401656315 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68799114503 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45940947512 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.387163561077 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 724.5 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 22.8473053892 140% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 67.3042841628 57.8364921388 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 155.333333333 119.503703932 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.2 23.324526521 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.46666666667 5.70786347227 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.414748579742 0.218282227539 190% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.169511298213 0.0743258471296 228% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.111969400958 0.0701772020484 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.242369487604 0.128457276422 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.116003107395 0.0628817314937 184% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 14.3799401198 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.46 48.3550499002 98% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.27 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 27.0 12.3882235529 218% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.1389221557 133% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.