When people succeed it is entirely because of hard work Luck has nothing to do with their success

Essay topics:

When people succeed, it is entirely because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with their success.

Some people believe that the success is a result of their hard works. They insist that the luck has nothing to do with their success. Others say that the success can be affected by their luck. I agree with the latter with two elaborated reasons below.
First, the luck works as a significant component among qualified people. As people try hard to succeed, they eventually meet their rivals. Those people are also qualified with tremendous abilities and knowledges. Big differences are not existed between those people. Therefore, to make an achievement and become successful among those people, people have to depend on their luck. For example, my sister went to Seoul National University in her school years. The school is the best university in Korea. Due to its fame, candidates of SNU have to pass three interviews to get an acceptance. After two interviews, most of candidates failed to continue and there are a few candidates left include my sister. It seemed hard to survive within that group of people. However, my sister surprisingly passed the last interview and got an acceptance. The last interviewer she met was a professor who did volunteer works for two years with my sister at a hospital. Thanks to him, she had finished her test in comfortable atmosphere and graduated last year.
Second, depends on peoples’ perspective, the luck can be managed and controlled. In Asian culture, there is a term ‘karma’ which means the eternal circulation of the life. People who believe karma think that the lucky situations or positions they have is a return of their positive actions they have made before. Therefore, they believe that they can make themselves luckier by doing positive actions. To be specific, there are Japanese major league baseball player Otani. He believes karma and made his own table to manage his luck. In his table, habits he wants to make are written such as ‘be polite to everyone’ and ‘make a smile to my fan.’ Although the karma is not scientific, the positive actions by Otani will bring him the luck as peoples’ respect and loves from his fan.
In conclusion, the luck affects the peoples’ success in many ways. Therefore, people should manage their luck by doing positive actions as their social positions are inclined.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 612, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the candidates') or simply say ''most candidates''.
Suggestion: most of the candidates; most candidates
...et an acceptance. After two interviews, most of candidates failed to continue and there are a few ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, second, so, therefore, for example, in conclusion, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1901.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 380.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.00263157895 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41515443553 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65611065709 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.544736842105 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 587.7 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.8601489859 48.9658058833 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 73.1153846154 100.406767564 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.6153846154 20.6045352989 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.23076923077 5.45110844103 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.319995364085 0.236089414692 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0924410351507 0.076458572812 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103634884905 0.0737576698707 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.240144823026 0.150856017488 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.126199295274 0.0645574589148 195% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 11.7677419355 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 58.1214874552 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.13 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.2 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.0 10.002688172 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.