Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?
Parents use different techniques to encourage their children to gain higher grades in school. While some people think that it is a good idea that children be given money to earn high grades, I believe that children should not be offered any incentives to study. I feel this way for two major reasons, which I will explore with details and examples in the following essay.
Firstly, children should learn that they have some responsibilities whether they are at home or in school. They should be learned that sometimes they should do the right or necessary thing, even if they do not get any benefits in return. If parents offer their children money to do well in school, which they must, they are teaching them that they should receive something in return when they did something good. This can result in raising a generation that cannot play its roles in society and is not capable of helping others selflessly.
In addition, children may get used to receiving benefits in order to be successful, and in the future, if nobody offers them anything useful, they stop trying to be successful and pursuing their dreams. On the other hand, if they are not offered anything, they learn that it is no one's job to give them anything for their success, and if they try hard to do their best, they will see the results of their hard work in the future, which the best gift that they can receive. I have a story that can be an excellent example of this. I had a friend in high school that after every semester, his parents gave him money or bought him a gift no matter what scores he had earned. In university, however, his parents stopped giving him awards for studying because they taught that their kid is grown and does not need to be offered money to be encouraged anymore. As a result, my friend lost his eagerness to try and study hard and failed most of his courses. He finally left the university without any degree and is unemployed now. If his parents had not offered him money when he was a kid, he would not have lost his enthusiasm and would have been prosperous now.
In conclusion, it is a terrible idea that parents offer money to their kids to gain high grades in school. This is because children should learn that they have some responsibilities and have to do the correct thing whether they receive some benefits or not. Also, some children may get used to receiving incentives for doing good, and they lose their eagerness to be successful when no incentives are offered.
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| 2023-06-27 | YasamanEsml | 76 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 901, Rule ID: TRY_AND[1]
Message: "Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "'try to'" is recommended for writing.
Suggestion: try to
...result, my friend lost his eagerness to try and study hard and failed most of his cours...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, so, thus, well, while, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.0286738351 181% => OK
Pronoun: 73.0 43.0788530466 169% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2048.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 444.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.61261261261 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43276607655 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 212.727598566 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.454954954955 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 619.2 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.2731113912 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.777777778 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6666666667 20.6045352989 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.66666666667 5.45110844103 141% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.422675827735 0.236089414692 179% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.14311803662 0.076458572812 187% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101036205009 0.0737576698707 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.317107661695 0.150856017488 210% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0749470267918 0.0645574589148 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.21 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.