“Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe’s annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is ‘Jazz Nightly,’ which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, we predict that our new jazz music club in Monroe will be a tremendously profitable enterprise.”
In the application, the author concludes that the new jazz music club in Monroe will be a highly profitable venture. The author comes to this conclusion based on several contentions and a recent nationwide survey. While the author’s contention could be true, some explanations need to be considered.
First of all the author assumes that Jazz is extremely popular in Monroe as more than 1,00,000 people attended Monroe’s annual fest. Perhaps the population of Monroe is less than 1,00,000 and people from different parts of the country attended the fest. In this case, people from other regions are present in the majority of 1,00,000 people. In addition, it is possible that some celebrities were present at the concert and many people attended the concerts only for the celebrities and not for the love of Jazz. Also, another scenario at play here could be that due to holidays or festive season many people would have a lot of free time so they attended the concert. If any of the above scenarios is true then the author’s contention is significantly weakened.
Also, the explanation that could reduce the credibility of the author’s argument is that the nearest Jazz club is over an hour away. Many people like driving long distances. It is quite possible that residents of Monroe would enjoy driving to the nightclub even though it is an hour away. Maybe Monroe has public transport readily available which facilitates long-distance travel. If that proves to be the case then, the author’s argument is not overly compelling.
Finally, another possibility that would hinder the persuasiveness of the argument is that the survey indicates that a typical jazz fan in Monroe spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. Perhaps most citizens in Monroe like all kinds of music, not only Jazz so they might be less inclined in spending around $1000 on jazz entertainment only. In addition to that considering the average financial conditions, it might not be feasible for the majority of Monroe residents to afford to pay $1000 for Jazz entertainment. If any of the above cases are true then the author’s argument does not hold any water.
To conclude although the central claim of the argument may hold water, indicating a possibility that certain factors would make the new Jazz club venture profitable the author needs to consider the above three alternate explanations if he hopes to bolster its persuasiveness. The author should provide evidence regarding the arguments presented.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 411 350
No. of Characters: 2046 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.503 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.978 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.722 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.55 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.749 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 670, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...free time so they attended the concert. If any of the above scenarios is true then...
^^
Line 7, column 161, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...pical jazz fan in Monroe spends close to ,000 per year on jazz entertainment. Perh...
^^
Line 7, column 525, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ford to pay 000 for Jazz entertainment. If any of the above cases are true then th...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, if, may, regarding, so, then, while, in addition, in fact, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2102.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 411.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11435523114 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50256981431 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83043151838 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.498783454988 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 646.2 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.4900718586 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.1 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.55 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.65 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.301519624983 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0945576849775 0.0743258471296 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0954726128451 0.0701772020484 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.163722168365 0.128457276422 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0868060848855 0.0628817314937 138% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.