Some parents believe that watching TV and playing computer games should be limited and substituted by reading books Do you agree or disagree Give your opinion

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Some parents believe that watching TV and playing computer games should be limited and substituted by reading books. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion

In the era of technological development, every aspect of life needs taking into consideration, especially childcare. A question newly has raised that the time for watching telly and playing video games is expected reduced to the absolute minimum and replaced by reading books. In my point of view, I totally agree with this recreational restriction due to following reasons.

Firstly, it is obvious that watching TV and playing video games bring many benefit for children‘s enhancement .Not only do this child relieve stress but they can also widen their social circle effectively through having a teammate who have the same interests. Apparently, it sounds a good idea, but how can they deal with a series of diseases such as an illness or a sickness. In addition by dint of being addicted to violent scenes in game and TV films, children easily lose their control and become more aggressive which is the main reasons why the rate of juvenile delinquency grows more than ever. Put it simply, more health drawbacks are seen unless parents control the recreational time appropriately .

Secondly, apart from being flexible in game and films, youngster can focus their attention on reading books. It is clear that reading is the ideal way to recharge their battery and get away from the hustle and bustle of the fast paced life. Moreover, thanks to reading books, not only do they can expanded considerably their consciousness and awareness of reality but they also can delve much deeper into a subject than any television documentary does, a film is often a shortened down version of a book.

In conclusion, I take my own stance that it is needed to tighten up the schedule of entertainment and recommend to read books

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having a teammate who have the same interests.
having a teammate who has the same interests.

not only do they can expanded considerably their consciousness and awareness of reality
not only can they expand considerably their consciousness and awareness of reality

Sentence: A question newly has raised that the time for watching telly and playing video games is expected reduced to the absolute minimum and replaced by reading books.
Error: telly Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Firstly, it is obvious that watching TV and playing video games bring many benefit for childrens enhancement .Not only do this child relieve stress but they can also widen their social circle effectively through having a teammate who have the same interests.
Error: childrens Suggestion: children

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 288 350
No. of Characters: 1400 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.12 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.861 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.701 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.312 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.594 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.025 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5