In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else.
Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?
It is undeniable that the numbers of young people nowadays who are leaving home for education or working to build their bright future are increasing. Although there are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation, I would argue that It will be better to leave home for their further education or working.
On one side of the argument I argue that the benefits of considerably outweigh its disadvantages. Firstly, everyone has to work to earn a living and support themselves and therefore they have to be educated and more skilled to get better jobs. To achieve this, many people nowadays leaving home before getting married for their higher education or finding job in a suitable place. It will make people more self dependent than who are living with parents. And living alone people need to do their housework by themselves such as cooking, cleaning, washing etc. As a result, they become more in physically. Secondly, since they are doing all by themselves so undoubtedly they have no more leisure time to do other activities which may lead people commit crime. Additionally, people become stronger in mentally. As a consequence, they are able to face any difficulties in life rather than people who are living together with parents. So, living alone make people stronger in mentally and more active in physically to reach their goals.
On the other hand, sometimes there are several negative effects on human of leaving home. Sometimes, people become mentally unbalanced and weak. As a result, they lose their confidence and cannot face any difficulties in life as well as they will fail to build their career as their aims. Also, they become unsocial which also effect on their communication skill in job. Leaving home nowadays make their parents loneliness. Sometimes there is no one to share their problems.
In conclusion, I would argue that the benefits of leaving home for education or working purpose outweigh the drawbacks.
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Please give some advice to improve my written ability.
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flaws:
No. of Words: 321 350
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Need more words and more different words.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 321 350
No. of Characters: 1587 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.233 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.944 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.613 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.244 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5