Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.
Author presents a claim that young people receive the advice to follow their dreams. However, they must be advised to pursue worthy goals. Author supports this statement with the claim that many people's dreams are selfish, which means that they may be looking at their goals with only selfish reasons involved which is not good. I agree with the statement as being human, we have a responsibility towards the society we live in and while thinking about ourselves, we must not ignore the impact of our deeds on the society.
Man is the only creature who has got unique capability to think and act upon the strategies he makes after thinking process. Right from very young age, a child is told to pursue big dreams directly or indirectly by his parents and then the teachers in school. However, it's very important to teach the child about the right and wrong act. When the child grows up and actually starts thinking seriously about pursuing his goals, his character plays an important role in the choices he takes up. First of all, the person chooses the field in which he is most interested and then plans to pursue his goals in that specific field. This is the time when a person is actually motivated towards his goals and it's natural that monetary gains also attached with the goal. However, it should not be the case that a person's only goal is to earn money or similar selfish goals such as attaining fame and power. One must consider the impact of his goal on the society. Would it impact the society in negative way?
We have many examples in history when a person infatuated with his selfish goals followed them without considering negative impacts on the society. Hitler is one of the notorious people who aimed to conquer the world and in his regime, he became the cause behind massacre of a lot of innocent people. His aim was to gain power over the world in any way. He did not care about they way he followed. At the end, he lost but millions of people had to suffer because of him.
On the other hand, we have examples of many great people like Albert Einstein, Thomas A. Edison, Abraham Lincoln who pursued their dreams considering the society's welfare in mind and they succeeded to a great extent in their respective fields. They not only achieved their goals and became successful but they made the things much better for the society around them as well.
Hence, it can be concluded that while pursuing a goal, one must be aware of the social and moral impacts of his pursuits. Parents and teachers should emphasize persistently on the importance of taking up goals which are justified morally. This would not only enable one to achieve goals with high sense of morality but he would be appreciated by the society and people would remember him/her in the future as well.
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Sentence: He did not care about they way he followed.
Description: The word way is not usually used as an adverb
Suggestion: Refer to they way
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 495 350
No. of Characters: 2255 1500
No. of Different Words: 242 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.717 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.556 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.256 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.522 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.777 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.176 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5