The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid — a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil — as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the above editorial from the new paper, The author states that to curtail absenteeism in school and workplaces, consuming a substantial amount of Ichthaid- a nutritional supplement, derived from fish oil daily is a good way of preventing cold since cold is the imperative factor of absenteeism and consuming fish is directly related to preventing colds. The author strengthens his argument based on the study report of east Maria where fish consumption is very high and people visit a doctor’s office once or twice per year for treatment of a cold. However, before evaluating the author’s argument three unstated assumptions needed to be answered.
First of all the author compares east and west Maria without providing any details about the two cities. Maybe the two towns are not similar at all. Maybe the weather in west Maria is colder than in east Maria. Then one can not say that eating fish is good for preventing colds. Moreover, maybe the population of west Maria is 50 times the population of east Maria. Then based on the doctors’ visit one can not certainly conclude that fish is an indispensable factor to prevent colds. If any one of the above conditions is true, then the author’s argument holds no water. If the author can provide more justifiable evidence regarding the conditions of two cities such as their geographical locations, populations perhaps in a form of a systematic research study then one can evaluate the author’s argument to a certain extent otherwise using circumstances from one thing to generalized and predict others is seriously fictitious.
Secondly, the author provides the conclusion about the direct relation between high fish consumption and the lower number of doctors’ visit regarding a cold based on the study report of east Maria without providing any admissible evidence about the authenticity of the report. There is a possibility that the report is not representable at all. Maybe after catching cold most of the people in east Maria stay at home instead of visiting doctor . In that case the author’s argument is seriously unwarranted. If the author is able to provide more evidence perhaps in the form of a scientific research study about the relation between fish consumption and lower doctor’s visit because of cold then it will strengthen the author’s argument.
Thirdly, the author states that cold is the pivotal factor for absenteeism in schools and workplaces since it is the frequently given reason without providing any necessary evidence about the veracity of the reason. Maybe most of the time employees and students lie about their absenteeism. If the above scenario is true then the author’s argument is built unreliably. Any data perhaps in the form of a statistical chart of an individual about the reason for absenteeism must need to be included to rectify the author’s argument.
In the conclusion, the author's argument stands now is seriously flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author can rectify the three unstated assumptions above and offer more evidence(perhaps in the form of a systematic research study) then, it will be possible to evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation that daily use of Ichthaid- a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent cold and lower absenteeism.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 545 350
No. of Characters: 2741 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.832 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.029 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.833 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 154 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 122 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.773 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.612 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 405, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Maria) must be used with a third-person verb: 'stays'.
Suggestion: stays
...g cold most of the people in east Maria stay at home instead of visiting doctor . In...
^^^^
Line 6, column 444, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... stay at home instead of visiting doctor . In that case the author’s argument is s...
^^
Line 8, column 293, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...d students lie about their absenteeism. If the above scenario is true then the aut...
^^
Line 10, column 24, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...’s argument. In the conclusion, the authors argument stands now is seriously flawed...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 82.0 55.5748502994 148% => OK
Nominalization: 25.0 16.3942115768 152% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2819.0 2260.96107784 125% => OK
No of words: 545.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17247706422 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83169070408 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94773776169 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.411009174312 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 874.8 705.55239521 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 100.65714863 57.8364921388 174% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.136363636 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7727272727 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.04545454545 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0891127069678 0.218282227539 41% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0320327156319 0.0743258471296 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.033720530106 0.0701772020484 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0561545716764 0.128457276422 44% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0253654061397 0.0628817314937 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.0 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.