The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc, the author suggests, the hobby shop chain set up its next shop in south-eastern Grilldon. To fortify this claim, the author corroborates his claims by stating that the region is currently devoid of any hobby shops, and has a copious population of retirees, who can devote their time to pursuing their hobbies. He also provides statistical evidence that Grilldon as a region saw an increase of 300 percent increase in hobby businesses in the past decade. And also, a survey report where 88 percent of the respondents favored welcoming a hobby business. However, the author's conclusion has the following three assumptions, if not substantiated, dramatically weakening the persuasiveness of the argument.
First of all, the writer attributes the responses provided by 88 percent of the respondents to the overall population of southeastern Grilldon. However, We don't know have any mention of the proportion of residents who answered the survey. It is possible that only a small set of people responded to the survey, and the other major chunk of residents, who chose not to participate in the survey, are not actually interested in doing their hobbies. Also, We don't have any proof of the quality of the survey. It is also possible that amateurs took the survey or the questionnaire of the survey is biased. If any of the above scenarios holds true, then the author's contention of the residents being positive about the new hobby shop doesn't hold water.
Secondly, the writer presumes that all the provinces within the region of Grilldon saw a considerable increase in hobby shop sales similar to the 300 percent in the overall region of Grilldon over the past decade. But, we don't have any empirical evidence about sectoral contribution to the overall increase in sales. It may be the case that some of the places saw a decline the sales and the old shops had to shut down. We also don't know the reason behind the southeastern region, not having any single shop, till now. If at all, we have a business opportunity in that region, then why aren't other hobby shop chains investing in the area? If the above-stated reasons hold truth, then the author's claim to attract new customers by opening a new hobby shop in the southeastern region is not overly persuasive.
Finally, the consultant assumes that an abundance of retirees who would have a considerable amount of time would devote their time and energy to hobbies. Nevertheless, we don't have any idea about the health conditions of these retirees, it is possible that the health conditions of these elderly aren't that supportive deterring them from following their hobbies. Even if the health condition is supportive, it is also possible that the elderly want to spend time with their families at home and prefer not to step out often. If either of the above is valid, then the author's assertion on the healthy and welcoming sales of the potentially opened new hobby shop in the southeastern region will do little to convince the president.
In conclusion, the proposed idea of starting a new hobby shop in the southeastern region would likely boost HobCo, Inc's revenues. However, as it stands now, the argument relies on three unfounded assumptions that render its conclusion unconvincing at best and void at worst. Thus, the author needs to provide evidence about the proportionality and quality of the evidence, territory-wise changes in hobby sales, and the health details (willingness) of the elderly.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-08-18 | sam 27 | 66 | view |
| 2023-08-12 | M1randa | 58 | view |
| 2023-03-31 | Aashu_Mehta | 66 | view |
| 2021-09-03 | khush.furia | 53 | view |
| 2021-02-18 | Cookiedough | 73 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 639, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...elcoming a hobby business. However, the authors conclusion has the following three assu...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 157, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...n of southeastern Grilldon. However, We dont know have any mention of the proportion...
^^^^
Line 3, column 457, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...rested in doing their hobbies. Also, We dont have any proof of the quality of the su...
^^^^
Line 3, column 654, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...he above scenarios holds true, then the authors contention of the residents being posit...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 730, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...being positive about the new hobby shop doesnt hold water. Secondly, the writer pr...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 223, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... Grilldon over the past decade. But, we dont have any empirical evidence about secto...
^^^^
Line 5, column 342, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...rease in sales. It may be the case that some of the places saw a decline the sales and the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 429, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...the old shops had to shut down. We also dont know the reason behind the southeastern...
^^^^
Line 5, column 587, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...ss opportunity in that region, then why arent other hobby shop chains investing in th...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 172, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...and energy to hobbies. Nevertheless, we dont have any idea about the health conditio...
^^^^
Line 7, column 297, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
... the health conditions of these elderly arent that supportive deterring them from fol...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 568, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... either of the above is valid, then the authors assertion on the healthy and welcoming ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, then, thus, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 89.0 55.5748502994 160% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2951.0 2260.96107784 131% => OK
No of words: 589.0 441.139720559 134% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01018675722 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.92639038232 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8361689591 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 261.0 204.123752495 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.443123938879 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 919.8 705.55239521 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.8355512747 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.958333333 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5416666667 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.41666666667 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.255870498914 0.218282227539 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0792022424189 0.0743258471296 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103384692665 0.0701772020484 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155718809847 0.128457276422 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0723419330197 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 136.0 98.500998004 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 639, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...elcoming a hobby business. However, the authors conclusion has the following three assu...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 157, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...n of southeastern Grilldon. However, We dont know have any mention of the proportion...
^^^^
Line 3, column 457, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...rested in doing their hobbies. Also, We dont have any proof of the quality of the su...
^^^^
Line 3, column 654, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...he above scenarios holds true, then the authors contention of the residents being posit...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 730, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...being positive about the new hobby shop doesnt hold water. Secondly, the writer pr...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 223, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... Grilldon over the past decade. But, we dont have any empirical evidence about secto...
^^^^
Line 5, column 342, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...rease in sales. It may be the case that some of the places saw a decline the sales and the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 429, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...the old shops had to shut down. We also dont know the reason behind the southeastern...
^^^^
Line 5, column 587, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...ss opportunity in that region, then why arent other hobby shop chains investing in th...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 172, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...and energy to hobbies. Nevertheless, we dont have any idea about the health conditio...
^^^^
Line 7, column 297, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
... the health conditions of these elderly arent that supportive deterring them from fol...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 568, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... either of the above is valid, then the authors assertion on the healthy and welcoming ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, then, thus, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 89.0 55.5748502994 160% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2951.0 2260.96107784 131% => OK
No of words: 589.0 441.139720559 134% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01018675722 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.92639038232 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8361689591 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 261.0 204.123752495 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.443123938879 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 919.8 705.55239521 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.8355512747 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.958333333 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5416666667 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.41666666667 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.255870498914 0.218282227539 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0792022424189 0.0743258471296 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103384692665 0.0701772020484 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155718809847 0.128457276422 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0723419330197 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 136.0 98.500998004 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.