The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of Brindleburg to the city council.
"Two years ago, the town of Seaside Vista opened a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. Since then, the Seaside Vista Tourism Board has reported a 20 0ncrease in visitors. In addition, local banks reported a steep rise in the number of new business loan applications they received this year. The amount of tax money collected by Seaside Vista has also increased, allowing the town to announce plans to improve Seaside Vista's roads and bridges. We recommend building a similar golf course and resort hotel in Brindleburg. We predict that this project will generate additional tax revenue that the city can use to fund much-needed public improvements."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the memo from the mayor of Brindleburg to the city council it is stated that they recommend building a golf course and a resort hotel in order to generate additional tax revenue and use them for public improvement. They have come to this conclusion based on findings from Seaside Vista Tourism board, local banks’ reports, and tax money increase that was used for roads and bridges. However, before these recommendations can be properly evaluated, three questions must be answered.
Firstly, are the areas of the two cities comparable regarding having a golf course and a resort hotel? In other words, do the circumstances support the same things to be built in the city of Brindelburg? Perhaps, the city of Brindleburg does not have an appropriate area to build the golf course or the resort hotel. Further, people of this city may not like the sport of golf and this may hold the number of additional tourists to visit the resort. If either of these scenarios has merit, then conclusion drawn in the original argument is considerably weakened.
Secondly, does applying for a loan in a bank mean they all get approved? If these money may move between businesses and the bank, this does not affect the city’s economy. For instance, many businesses might apply for a loan and get themselves into a debt. There is no guaranty that their income will augment and this would affect the city.
Next, does a report of 20 % increase in visitors mean that the same number will visit the city of Brindleburg? Does 20% show a concrete number? Perhaps 20 visitors or two came the previous years and a few more came this year. If there was accurate information then it would be better to jump on assumptions. An ideal number of visitors in Seaside Vista does not guaranty the same increase in the number of visitors in Brindleburg.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now may easily be considered flawed due to its reliance on several unsupported assumptions. If the author is able to answer the three questions above and offer more evidence in the form of exact information, then it will be possible to fully evaluate the chances and profits of building of a golf course and a resort hotel in Brindleburg.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 382 350
No. of Characters: 1779 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.421 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.657 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.586 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.105 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.843 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.545 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.047 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 76, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...n a bank mean they all get approved? If these money may move between businesses and the ban...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 226, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...us years and a few more came this year. If there was accurate information then it ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, for instance, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1832.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 382.0 441.139720559 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.79581151832 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42095241839 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70549003362 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.507853403141 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 569.7 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.7339433036 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.4210526316 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1052631579 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.10526315789 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.274783150779 0.218282227539 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0774844110597 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0731483547782 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138598211637 0.128457276422 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0787696212914 0.0628817314937 125% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 14.3799401198 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.