To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham.
the author concludes that Buckingham College is in dire need of new dormitories to serve the housing needs of the students by providing the two evidences: 1) growing enrollment of the Buckingham College will double in next 50 years making the existing dorms inadequate 2) average rent for an apartment has risen in the town and students will not afford that. Although these points seem to justify the auyhor’s claim, a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. The author needs to give the following specific evidence to make the argument more sounding: 1) current trends of growing enrollment will ...
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| 2013-12-17 | alimashreghi87 | 77 | view |
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- To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. 88
Sentence: Moreover, student coosing to get enroll in the Buckingham today may not be the case tomorrow.
Error: coosing Suggestion: choosing
Sentence: The author nneds to provide specific evidence such as an evidentiary data clearly giving the current needs of an on campus housing of the prospective student and statistical datashowing that overall cost of living in off campus housing is signifivantly higher than on campus.
Error: signifivantly Suggestion: significantly
Error: nneds Suggestion: needs
flaws:
No. of Words: 692 350 (write the essay in half an hour)
It is on top list:
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 6
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 692 350
No. of Characters: 3497 1500
No. of Different Words: 283 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.129 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.053 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.686 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 270 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 203 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 127 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 86 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.862 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.829 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.552 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.442 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5