The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda. "For the past five years ago, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City high school, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the facilities and music instruments at the Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years ago. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for entire Saluda school system"
The writer of the argument concludes that the best option for position of music director at Saluda School is Mr. Schade because of his success at Steel City High over the past five years. However, this conclusion cannot be accepted as it is in that it rests on a number of premises all of which can be challenged in three ways.
The first problem with the argument is that the writer assumes that the Steel City High has won three band competitions because of efforts of Mr. Schade. However, there is no evidence to prove that these victories actually happened because of his attempts. Maybe professor has a professional assistant who help him to train or provide students for competitions and these victories drive mostly from his/her functions. Or, perhaps due to students practice diligently for competitions and their families have encouraged and coerced them to study and practice with more efforts. Therefore, maybe these achievements are because of the attempts of students neither Mr. Schade nor any other people at school.
The another problem with argument is that the writer assumes that enhancement the quality of the facilities and music instruments at Steel City High are due to Mr. Shade's activities and functions during this period. However, there is no evidence to definitely confirm that this is the case. Maybe, an eminent musician who graduated from Steel City High has devoted money to improve their facilities and instrument as his gratitude for his school. Accordingly, this school has more budgets to equip their music facilities.
A third problem with argument is that the writer assumes that the Steel City High school is identical to Saluda school in all respects. However, there is no evidence to prove that this assumption. Maybe, Steel City has different educational approaches, for example music courses are fundamental course and students must attend it. But, the Saluda is technical school and has planned to focus on technical courses. Therefore, music course is as an extracurricular class. Accordantly, he cannot be prosperous with the method which was used in Steel City High School.
In the final analysis, the writer's conclusion cannot be taken to be correct because, as it was shown in the body paragraphs above, it depends on a number of assumptions each of which is questionable, so maybe there are better candidates for this job position. The conclusion can only be accepted if the weaknesses already referred to are all removed.
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the efforts of Mr. Schade cause Steel City High has won three band competitions.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
has a professional assistant that help him to train
has a professional assistant who helped him to train
the writer assumes that enhancement the quality of the facilities and music instruments' Steel City High are due to Mr. Shade's activities
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. Need to argue against the conclusion: 'the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for entire Saluda school system'. Maybe there are better candidates for the job position.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 396 350
No. of Characters: 1973 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.461 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.982 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.666 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.842 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.074 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5