Some people think that social networks such as Facebook have a negative impact on individuals and our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nobody can deny that social media has dominated our lives in many different ways in the world today. Networking sites like Facebook, Myspace and twitter are transforming the ways we interact, share and communicate. Nevertheless, it is not necessarily improving these aspects of our lives and true to be told, it can have exact opposite effects.
The first adverse effect of social media is on socializing ability skills and on ways of people interactions. The more people spend their time on chatting through computers and mobile phones, the less social skills and face to face interaction capability they earn. Minimizing face to face interactions, social media decrease the sociability of individuals in dramatic ways.
Cyber-bullying is another harmful effect of social media. The people who tend to misuse this tool find it more convenient regarding the fact that there is no one to stop them in contrast to the real similar events. The devastation of these online attacks can leave deep mental scars on the people, specifically the teenagers.
Last but not least, the waste of time is another downside. People simply tend to check on things in networking sites end up in all day behind the screen nothing useful to do for their lives. Sleep deprivation is also resulted in overuse of social tools which means people spend their time on something less important than relaxing and refreshment which is beneficial for their health.
To sum up, it is true that social media has made immense changes in our lives, However, the negative effects of this trend on individuals and societies should be highly considered to avoid situation deteriorating in the future.
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Comments
Essay E-rater, Many thanks,
Essay E-rater,
Many thanks, here is my revision based on your comments:
The first adverse effect of social media is impairing socializing ability skills as well as limiting ways of people interactions.
People who tend to check on things in networking sites simply end up spending the whole day behind the screen, not doing anything useful with their lives.
Sleep deprivation is also resulted in overuse of social tools. This means people spend their time on something less important than relaxing and refreshment which are more beneficial for their health.
Sentence: The first adverse effect of social media is on socializing ability skills and on ways of people interactions.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and interactions
People simply tend to check on things in networking sites end up in all day behind the screen nothing useful to do for their lives.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Sleep deprivation is also resulted in overuse of social tools which means people spend their time on something less important than relaxing and refreshment which beneficial for their health.
Description: are you sure 'which' is used properly?
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 273 350
No. of Characters: 1362 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.065 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.989 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.702 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.077 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.639 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5