(CHEVENING SCHOLARSHIP)Your academic background:Describe your educational achievements to date. You should explain why you feel confident in your ability to successfully complete your proposed courses of study in the UK, and specify why your courses were

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(CHEVENING SCHOLARSHIP)Your academic background:Describe your educational achievements to date. You should explain why you feel confident in your ability to successfully complete your proposed courses of study in the UK, and specify why your courses were chosen.
max 300 Words

In my personal opinion, becoming tremendous student is one of effort to become successful people in the future. Hence, I always encourage myself to be better especially in my education record. From Elementary school to junior high school, I was always becoming the ten best students in the class. Then, at senior high school I am becoming outstanding student and got scholarship from Jakarta’s Government. Furthermore, when I graduated from senior high school, I just through that I need to expand my achievement, not only achievement in formal education, but also informal education as I believed that successful person is an individual who have equalization between informal and formal education.

Since I was student at University, I won several scientific paper competitions from city and national level at the second and third grade. I also became student representative to do study comparison in University of Malaya, University Kebangsaan Malaysia, and National University of Singapore in 2012. While I could not be the best student when I graduated from bachelor degree, I got predicate as the best thesis in the graduating ceremony. After I graduated, I still became university representative as well as Indonesian student representative to attend World Student Environmental Summit, and I was achieving the ten best poster presentations at Leuphana University, Germany 2013. I also got scholarship from education minister to cover my tuition fee at the University.

Based on my experience and my achievement I got before, I feel confidence to study in United Kingdom and finish it on time. Because of my experience as special staff of foreign relations for senator member and assistant lecture in foreign policy analysis, I firmly believe I will successful complete my master program in foreign policy or government and democracy in United Kingdom.

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2014-11-10 Fadlanmuzakki 60 view
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becoming tremendous student
becoming excellent student

one of effort
one of the efforts

I am becoming outstanding student
I was becoming the outstanding student

I just through that
I just thought that

is an individual who have equalization
is an individual who has equalization

Since I was student at University,
Since I was a student at University,

I feel confidence
I feel confident

Sentence: Because of my experience as special staff of foreign relations for senator member and assistant lecture in foreign policy analysis, I firmly believe I will successful complete my master program in foreign policy or government and democracy in United Kingdom.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to will and successful

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 293 350
No. of Characters: 1535 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.137 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.239 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.116 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.734 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.465 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.615 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.201 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5