Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Automobiles have greater effect to the society than airplanes do

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Automobiles have greater effect to the society than airplanes do

Saying, “ Automobiles, such as cars and motorcycles, have a great effect to the society more than the airplanes do” is agreeable for many people. However, in my view, I believe that it is not truly true because you can see clearly that the airplanes have such higher capacity and they are a lot faster than the automobiles.

To begin with, the airplanes are capable to transfer such a large number of pedestrians. Beside, influencing the societies in many ways, such as economic, art and culture, requires big groups of alternative impacts. Accordingly, the airplane causes an enormous revolution to the society by transporting massive initiators of the changes. For example, Thailand has a various airlines available for the visitors. Thai people get influenced by Western cultures because a lot of Western tourists, so called farang, not only come to travel, but they also represent their own cultures. For that reason, now a day, the airplane is an important factor that helps to change the society.

Second, the airplanes accelerate the change of the society. They can translocate the people from one place to another place faster than the automobile do. For instance, the transportation, by boat and cars, in past 100 years takes a month to relocate from Thailand to America; therefore, the influence of the western cultures to Thailand is tardy. In contrast, in this century, we commute by airplane, which takes only 16 hours to fly from America to Thailand. So, now a day, Thai people are able to deviate themselves to mimic the western cultures contemporarily due to a convenience of the airplanes. Hence, the airplanes have an important rule in abruptly alter the society.

In conclusion, currently, people are able to migrate from one place to another and persuade the change of the society simply since the airplane is able to carry a massive amount of the people rapidly. However, even though, it is convenient, before making the decision of what kind of vehicles we should use, considering our own financial, a safety, and our own perspective should be the first priority.

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Sentence: So, now a day, Thai people are able to deviate themselves to mimic the western cultures contemporarily due to a convenience of the airplanes.
Error: contemporarily Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Content is not well organized.

better to have 5 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion

Be sensitive to use 'However'.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 346 350
No. of Characters: 1681 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.313 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.858 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.72 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.222 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5