Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With the increasingly attractive and tempting entainment materials, people are trapped in. Some indulge themselves in without even a glance to their responsibility. Some go ahead into it with the excuse for relaxing after a whole day work. Still others are controled by the enjoyment-doing things and overwhelmed with the fighting between things they have to do and things they like to do. Keeping the observation in mind, and with my own experience, I agree with the statement that people take too much time to do personal entainment than things than doing things as their responsibility, that is, the things they should do.
First, they may harm their own bodies with such indulgence in personal enjoyment, by neglecting ragular exercise, which is the things they should do to keep healthy. Computer games, TV programs, and comic books are among the magic personal enjoyment which will keep us away from the beautiful outside world. With the large investment in time on all these material, as most people do, they will not have enough time on sporting, walking, or simply enjoying sunlight and take a clear breathe, which are what they should do if they want maintain their health.
Second, some people neglect their own family as well as friends as they are absorbed, totally, into the personal enjoyment. Do you ever have experience that some one ask you to eat dinner and you put off it for the tasks on your hands, such as unfinished TV program, games, or even a piece of work treated as personal enjoyment? In my observation, and my own experience especially, it can't be more common. We all have something that are more important than the relationship with families or friends for some moment, some are video games, while some are some habits, which we spend too much time on them rather than getting along with our family or friends, which is what we should do.
Third, the worst one in all the situation is that some people let the enjoyment use their work time. Some use time to surf on the internet, reading facebook, or even playing computer games, while others may ask a day off for sick while go to enjoy their habits, say fishing for instance. All these seemed absurd statements really happen in today's world and, supprisingly, we may familiar with someone doing it right now. This kind of people really make their personal enjoyment weigh much higher than their responsbility, their job.
With three reason and facts stated above, I agree with the statement, people now use too much time on personal entainment than their responsibility, keeping their health, getting along with family, and their works.
- The following appeared in a memo from the director of a large group of hospitals."In a laboratory study of liquid antibacterial hand soaps, a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did t 53
- Men and women because of their inherent physical differences are not equally suited for many tasks Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim In developing and supporting your position be sure to address 65
- The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station."Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this time period, most of the comp 70
- Integrated writing In an effort to encourage ecologically sustainable forestry practices an international organization started issuing certifications to wood companies that meet high ecological standards by conserving resources and recycling materials Com 67
- The best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and su 90
Sentence: With the large investment in time on all these material, as most people do, they will not have enough time on sporting, walking, or simply enjoying sunlight and take a clear breathe, which are what they should do if they want maintain their health.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to clear and breathe
Sentence: Do you ever have experience that some one ask you to eat dinner and you put off it for the tasks on your hands, such as unfinished TV program, games, or even a piece of work treated as personal enjoyment?
Description: A numeral, cardinal is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to one and ask
Sentence: Some use time to surf on the internet, reading facebook, or even playing computer games, while others may ask a day off for sick while go to enjoy their habits, say fishing for instance.
Description: The fragment while go to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace go with verb, past tense
Sentence: All these seemed absurd statements really happen in today's world and, supprisingly, we may familiar with someone doing it right now.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to may and familiar
Sentence: With the increasingly attractive and tempting entainment materials, people are trapped in.
Error: entainment Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Still others are controled by the enjoyment-doing things and overwhelmed with the fighting between things they have to do and things they like to do.
Error: controled Suggestion: controlled
Sentence: Keeping the observation in mind, and with my own experience, I agree with the statement that people take too much time to do personal entainment than things than doing things as their responsibility, that is, the things they should do.
Error: entainment Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: First, they may harm their own bodies with such indulgence in personal enjoyment, by neglecting ragular exercise, which is the things they should do to keep healthy.
Error: ragular Suggestion: regular
Sentence: All these seemed absurd statements really happen in today's world and, supprisingly, we may familiar with someone doing it right now.
Error: supprisingly Suggestion: surprisingly
Sentence: This kind of people really make their personal enjoyment weigh much higher than their responsbility, their job.
Error: responsbility Suggestion: responsibility
Sentence: With three reason and facts stated above, I agree with the statement, people now use too much time on personal entainment than their responsibility, keeping their health, getting along with family, and their works.
Error: entainment Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 445 350
No. of Characters: 2117 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.593 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.757 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.476 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.176 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.713 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.561 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.144 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5