People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.
There is a natural tendency of human being to be attracted towards what they enjoy to do rather than doing what is useful. But from my propensity it is worth doing what is useful at that particular point of time. People who do something for enjoyment is an example of distraction from the necessary work. Conscientious observation can lead us to the feasible conclusion to prove my point of view for doing things what people should do.
First of all, I believe in the contemporary world there are many enticing elements to distract people's attention those stop them from doing required works. Though they seem tempting at that point of time, it consumes the lion share of our valuable time. Whereas, our sincere dedication towards our work, even though it may not be attractive to us, it can be fruitful in long run. For example- while studying in the University in India, one of my friends used to spend maximum of her time enjoying outside the classroom while we were studying in the library or attending the lectures. Consequently, she had to confront a difficult situation before and during the examinations. She was overwhelmed with the stock piled courses to study in a short period of time and finally she faced a critical situation to get good scores. Eventually, after struggling a lot in the last moment to study everything tolled on her physical and mental health, which resulted in very poor scores in the exam.
Secondly, even though some people manage to escape from the difficult situation, still it is always advisable to do necessary work what we do not enjoy sometimes. In addition, it helps us to challenge ourselves to concentrate on a difficult task that enhances our knowledge and outlook towards the attitude of doing work sincerely that we do not like to do but is useful for us in many aspects.
Finally, from my point of view people who neglect their work what is useful are immature kind of persons, who do not know when they should do what, which is important and useful for them. As a result they usually face last minute hurry for their useful tasks and poor performance for their lack of preparedness due to the previous negligence.
Therefore, I draw a conclusion supporting the idea that people should spend their time fruitfully, which helps them to achieve mastery in the existing skills and gradually the likeliness for that work may increase. In addition, it will help them to avoid last minute hurry and provide better output in the desired task and eventually it may provide them to spend some extra time in doing what they really enjoy personally.
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Sentence: For example- while studying in the University in India, one of my friends used to spend maximum of her time enjoying outside the classroom while we were studying in the library or attendig the lectures.
Error: attendig Suggestion: attending
Sentence: Therefore, I draw a conclusion supporting the idea that people should spend thier time fruitfully, which helps them to achieve mastery in the existing skills and gradually the likeliness for that work may increase.
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 447 350
No. of Characters: 2101 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.598 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.7 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.562 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.294 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.961 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.235 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5