Do you agree or disagree: For success in school and work, the ability to adapt or adjust to a changing condition or circumstance is more important than having excellent
knowledge of a job or a field to study.
There is no doubt that everybody who is working for the company or is studying in the school wants to be successful. In order to be successful, each person has his own methods, some people are good at adapting and harmonizing themselves to the circumstance; on the other hand, others do not care about the circumstance and believe that their achievement would come from their knowledge and ability. In my opinion, having excellent knowledge of a job is more important another.
First of all, personally, I believe that ability of adapting or adjusting to a changing condition or circumstance does not give a long last success and it discredits whoever does. Give my former co-worker for instance. She was good at complimenting and harmonizing herself into every situation and she always brought food to everyone because she expected to get helps from others. In the end, everyone found out that she did not have enough knowledge to do anything by herself; consequently, nobody felt disappointed and denied to help her. Because of lacking of knowledge and being dependent, she discredited herself and did not have a good performance, and unfortunately the company asked her to resign.
In addition, having incredible knowledge of a job or being a good at whatever we are doing will bring the most benefit to yourself and organizations. In contrast, ability of adaptation of working environment does not provide any advantage to the companies. For example, the founder of Apple, Steve Job, revealed to the public at the first time that he chose just only grade “A” workers to work for him, not B or C. Plus, he believed that even though grade “A” workers do not get along and fight for his own opinion; finally they will come up with the greatest solutions after the fight. This idea clearly shows that an excellent knowledge will lead successful to the person who has it and his organization.
In conclusion, I constantly believe that having an excellent knowledge is really important because it will bring an accomplishment. Unlike, having a great knowledge of working, having an excellent environmental adaptation does not only discredit us and causes shamefulness, but it also brings the organization’s failure. Therefore, I highly encourage workers and students to focus on gaining knowledge, work hard, and do the best on tasks.
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Sentence: In my opinion, having excellent knowledge of a job is more important another.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, singular
Suggestion: Refer to important and another
Sentence: Unlike, having a great knowledge of working, having an excellent environmental adaptation does not only discredit us and causes shamefulness, but it also brings the organization's failure.
Description: not only ... but also ... is not used properly
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 387 350
No. of Characters: 1897 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.435 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.902 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.891 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.146 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.166 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5