If you could meet a famous entertainer or athlete, who would that be, and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

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If you could meet a famous entertainer or athlete, who would that be, and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Suddenly I looked up to see my father. His eyes were full of tears, of pride, after raising Iran’s flag! Those days are not forgettable. Whenever Olympic Games started, all my family got together to see the games. One of the best games was wrestling part; our hero was “Takhti”. He was the best ever personality of Iran’s sportsman so far. Why, have he accentuated among others? The reason he became bold for me and Iranian was his moral integrities and his popularities on which the next paragraphs will elaborate.

To begin with, legendries’ most significant feature is their popularities. Fewer people admit that by just being eligible they can become popular; let alone became Legendre. For being hero like “Tkhti”, persons need to be creative in various aspects. For example, when a student wants to be peak-performer in class, he/she can achieve this goal by studying hard day in day out; however, if that person craves to be popular among other students, he/she also requires helping other pupils. No wonder, such personality will be much more acceptable too.

Additionally, rivals that once were thought to characterize “Takhti” as immoral person their changing was so noticeable. For example, in time of “Takhti”, his so-called enemies were not so rare. They did whatever they could for disgracing of “Takhti”; but, after he failed voluntary because of rival’s broken arm, all turned their face all of a sudden. The very this increased popularity of him, remained his reminiscence in minds, and made his name legend forever.

All in all, to put the issue into a nut shell, I contended that the most praiseworthy person is “Takhti”. If every person looks at his biography, he/she will understand that I am right. For those who are already familiar with this face, Isn’t that what you think?

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2013-12-04 hajarisfahan 80 view
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Sentence: They did whatever they could for disgracing of Takhti; but, after he failed voluntary because of rival's broken arm, all turned their face all of a sudden.
Description: The tag a modal auxillary is not usually followed by for
Suggestion: Refer to could and for

Sentence: To begin with, legendries' most significant feature is their popularities.
Error: legendries Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.3 21.0

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 306 350
No. of Characters: 1431 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.182 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.676 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.551 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 93 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.3 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.063 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.35 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.264 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.455 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5