People attend college or university for many reasons (for example, new experience, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays attending to college or university is one of the most important issues for juveniles. Seemingly, every youth has attended or wishes to attend to university. Doubtless, there are lots of advantages in participating to universities. It seems to me that, three arguments and advantages are highlighted in attending to university. Benefits such as career preparation, gaining experiences, and increasing knowledge have motivated youth to attend to university.
First reason for attending to university, in my point of view is career preparation. These days, there are lots of competitions among people for occupying certain jobs in job market. Having adequate job is a dream for everyone. In order to apply for the better jobs, people, try to make their resume stronger than others. In the marathon of getting jobs, who have studied in universities have more priority than uneducated one. As an instance, while my cousin was looking for a job for more than six months, my brother applied for the certain job and immediately started to work, because he was a university graduated. Entering university make us an expert, and more skillful. Therefore, we can occupy better jobs.
Second reason in my idea, is gaining experiences. Living alone, while studying, lead us to gain majestic experiences. Usually, adolescents rely on their family and without their supports will be disappointed. Living alone for the period of life might be useful or detrimental. In some periods such as during studying in university, being far from family is not only difficult for students but also a pretty useful chance for gaining various experiences. In this time span, students can gain experience for manage themselves in adult life.
The last reason that I believe motivates people to attend university is increasing knowledge. Human being has desire for learning more, and always tried for that. In addition, in today's world with the mass of information, in order to expanding communication with worldwide people, every day we have to know more than yesterday. Attending to university performs an opportunity for learning new matters, such as cultures, literatures, various cults, religions, and a variety of popular subjects. Therefore, I am sure one of the reasons of attending to university is having thirsty for absorbing new information.
From my point of view, people have three main reasons for joining to universities, which are gaining experiences, career preparation, and increasing knowledge. Today, people think they can obviate these needs by attending to university. Therefore, most of the young people or even Middle Ages are studying in universities or wish to study.
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Sentence: Entering university make us an expert, and more skillful.
Description: The fragment university make us is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense
Sentence: In this time span, students can gain experience for manage themselves in adult life.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and manage
Sentence: The last reason that I believe motivates people to attend university is increasing knowledge.
Description: A verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to believe and motivates
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Need to remove repetitive words or sentences.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 423 350
No. of Characters: 2183 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.535 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.161 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.869 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.583 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.407 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.471 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5