Some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors.other people prefer to spend theır leısure tıme indoors.would you prefer to be outsıde or would you prefer to be ınsıde for your leısure actıvıtıes?

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Some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors.other people prefer to spend theır leısure tıme indoors.would you prefer to be outsıde or would you prefer to be ınsıde for your leısure actıvıtıes?

In this statement, the author discusses outdoor and indoor activities which one is better for spending in free time. He implies that some people prefer to go out but others prefer to spend leisure time indoors activities for some reasons. According to the statement, the author is demonstrating two different choices to discuss. In general, spending time outdoor is better for several reasons. I shall explain reasons for my stance in the following paragraphs.

First, most of the working people spend their time in office and they finish their work late and the sun has already sunk. They need to get vitamin D for their bones and health. In free time people should go out and they have to catch sunlight as possible as. If they cannot sustain in their youth they will get illness connected with lack of vitamin D.

Second, a person who has a stressful work has electricity in his body. He has to discharge for being good mentally and thinking healthy. The way of the protecting from this is that people should discharge with ground and they need to step on soil. In leisure time people should go out for picnic or tracking. Picnic with family members will help to feel better and they will spend their time much funnier.
Indoor activities may be relaxing for some people but as I said that nature helps people to live much more. I also prefer to spend my leisure time in nature.

Finally, people have to be happy for living much more time and they need to laugh for being happy. Outdoor activities present good, funny and qualified times to you with your family.in far-east cultures people believe that nature controlled the energy which is in human inside and they suggest to do yoga in nature. After free time you will have work day far away from stress and bad energy.

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2013-01-08 Yavuz Burak 60 view
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flaws:
No. of Words: 313 350
No. of Characters: 1433 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40

First, you may change the writing style for the first paragraph. It is not a correct way for introduction. Read other top scored essays to get ideas.

Second, you may put some compound or complex sentences. See, all of the sentences are simple sentences.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 313 350
No. of Characters: 1433 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.206 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.578 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.198 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.228 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.51 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5