TOEFL ESSAY-You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business . Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

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TOEFL ESSAY-
You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business . Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

If I have a choice to choose betwixt the two, I would prefer to start off a business rather than purchasing a house. My choice relies on empirical reasons.

To begin with, initiating a business requires skills, creativity, knowledge, intellect and sheer determination towards one's goal. To stand out amongst others, the explicit approach is to exhibit innate talents and abilities which can be easily show casted by doing a business. I would like to explore, invent and introduce my own strategies in the business world for the upliftment of the business. This is a great way to be independent, ...

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2013-07-27 sirisiri 90 view
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Sentence: It built's confidence and rekindles the team spirit to achieve higher goals.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common, genitive
Suggestion: Refer to It and built's

Sentence: On the other hand, purchasing a house would be resticting myself to a monotonous, banal and unfruitful life devoid of excitements and explorations.
Error: resticting Suggestion: restricting

Sentence: To conclude, I will not turn by, any oppurtunity that comes along my way.
Error: oppurtunity Suggestion: opportunity

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 27 in 30
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 415 350
No. of Characters: 1896 1500
No. of Different Words: 237 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.513 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.569 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.7 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.762 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.981 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.476 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.054 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5