What discovery in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
Human beings, by nature, tend to live in a group. Even some psychologists calls human "the social animal". Given that, since the people around us greatly affect us, it is crucial to choose which people we are mostly in touch with. The first candidate groupe that naturally crosses our minds are extended family members. Although they are very kind and caring towards us, in the modern era, they play a less important role in our lives. In the following paragraphs, I provide three points that clarifies how new structure of the society and cities have contributed to this phonomenon.
The first point that deserves to be outlined is that it is excruciating to be in touch with family members and visit them regularly. Cities are getting larger every day and public transportation deficiencies and heavy traffics impedes traveling around the cities. Therefore, extended family members, usually living in different parts of a city, are less prone to visit each other anymore. Therefore, their role in our lives decreases as their contact with us weakens.
Aside from the point about the distance of family members from each other, one cannot overlook the fact that other people has substituted the family members: friends and neighbors. Nowadays, friends has taken the role which families used to play: helping us in difficulties, relaxing us when we are under pressure and... . Several researches in the society support this idea. As a result, we do not miss family members anymore.
Another fact that deserves a word is that new jobs has been created that replace the services which once where only provided by family members. For instance, kindergadens, managed by private section, are now taking care of our infant children. The duty that, not long ago, only grandparents used to deliver. Therefore, it is obvious that since we do need family members less, we do not have to keep in touch with them anymore.
In a word, owing to the points and causes mentioned in the previous paragraphs, it appears loggical to safely draw the conclusion that extended family mebers play a less significant role in our lives because not only the architecture of the cities has changed, but also there are several substitutions for family members.
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2013-11-27 | ali.darudi | 45 | view |
2013-06-29 | sonia123 | 72 | view |
2013-06-29 | natasha_vinod | 58 | view |
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Sentence: The first candidate groupe that naturally crosses our minds are extended family members.
Error: groupe Suggestion: group
Sentence: In the following paragraphs, I provide three points that clarifies how new structure of the society and cities have contributed to this phonomenon.
Error: phonomenon Suggestion: phenomenon
Sentence: In a word, owing to the points and causes mentioned in the previous paragraphs, it appears loggical to safely draw the conclusion that extended family mebers play a less significant role in our lives because not only the architecture of the cities has changed, but also there are several substitutions for family members.
Error: loggical Suggestion: logical
Error: mebers Suggestion: members
flaws:
The content of the essay doesn't match the essay topic.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ?
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 371 350
No. of Characters: 1806 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.389 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.868 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.508 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.526 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.112 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.421 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.504 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5