“What recent news story has affected you the most? In what ways has it affected you? Use reasons and examples to support your response."
In recent days, one the foremost news that almost has involved all of the people around the world is war against Syria. This event might be occure in such a situation that nobody around the world has a good memory of war. Our grandfathers vividly remind the days of World Wars, Vietnam War and etc; the days which were full of blood, homeless, deseases and all disasters that may happen. I have been impressed by this news as following reasons:
Firstly, I think that not only me but also all the inhabitants on the earth do not agree with war. It has been always refused and disagreed by anyone. For instance, World Wars are good examples of wars that occurred and unfortunately more than one million people died. This war was launched just based on the pride of one person, Hitler. He faced most of the people in the world with death. Only a few persons or governments that might have benefits in doing war will favor it; or some governments that are eager to expand their authority and attain more resources such as oil, mines, industries and etc will support this idea. However, I am still strongly disagree with such this disaster, I mean war.
Secondly, any kind of war, short or long lasting one, will have a vast number of adverse concequences that may will never be compensated. Homelessness, death, illnesses and etc are all a subtle part of consequences that surly will happen in any war. When a war initiates, first of all, most of the people will be killed and houses will be destroyed. After that, there will be a lot of homeless that will have to fight with death all the days. Deseases and illnesses will attack to the residual people of war and will harm them by affecting them. All these disasters that may occur meanwhile and after any war, will affect residents of that region in the war period and many years after finishing.
As a summary, war is an adverse event that unfortunately has been happening all ages in the time. This event will contain a lot of bad results such as numerous homelesses, illnesses, dead people and etc. base on the above-mentioned reasons, I am really affected and impressed by it.
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Sentence: This event might be occure in such a situation that nobody around the world has a good memory of war.
Error: occure Suggestion: occur
Sentence: Our grandfathers vividly remind the days of World Wars, Vietnam War and etc; the days which were full of blood, homeless, deseases and all disasters that may happen.
Error: deseases Suggestion: deceases
Sentence: Secondly, any kind of war, short or long lasting one, will have a vast number of adverse concequences that may will never be compensated.
Error: concequences Suggestion: consequences
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 380 350
No. of Characters: 1703 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.415 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.482 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.424 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 98 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.588 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.487 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.076 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5