You have received a gift of money The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend Which would you buy Use specific reasons and details to support your answer

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You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

A gift is the effective way to express how much you care and love the person. Really I like the gifts and I will never ever getting bored from receiving present every moment. I wonder if someone one give me an amount of money as gift, how I will consume it. If I have two choices either to spend this money in attending a concert or buying a piece of jewelry, I will choose the first one for specific reason.

First of all, consuming this amount of money watching my favorite singer Celine Dion alive is the best thing that will happen to me. I can back to my home owning many photos to her and saving them to remember how much I enjoyed that day. Really, watching concert by television differs than attending it. Seeing the singer personally and getting his or her signature will be an expensive memory I had it.

Second, it’s the chance to escape from the stress of the works, especially after a long day of hard effort in doing the duties of my job. So it’s a great idea to take a rest by listening music. In addition, presenting a concert of my special singer is the best place to meet new friends that have same taste in the music. Gathering with new friends, screaming when the song starts and showing the passion were the craziest things I did.

Finally, I think using this money to buy a piece of jewelry is the last thing that I will do it, because I am one of many who don’t like to wear jewelry. So jewelry not interests me, let’s assume that I bought bracelet and I put it in my hand so what will happen later, I think nothing change with respect to me. While enjoying my life without wasting any moment is my concern because we live only one time and I will never ever leave any think that I really loved without achieves it.

To sum up, the choice between jewelry and ticket for concerts is not so difficult to me. Sure I will choose the ticket because I will prefer to live a new experience and add it to the special events of my life.

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Sentence: So jewelry not interests me, let's assume that I bought bracelet and I put it in my hand so what will happen later, I think nothing change with respect to me.
Description: The fragment nothing change with is rare

Sentence: While enjoying my life without wasting any moment is my concern because we live only one time and I will never ever leave any think that I really loved without achieves it.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to without and achieves

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 374 350
No. of Characters: 1543 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.398 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.126 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.188 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.911 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.587 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5