Your school has enough money to purchase either computers for students or books for the library. Which should your school choose to buy – computers or books? Use specific reasons and examples to support your recommendation.
Nowadays, in a global world, technology is necessary for everyone who wants to advance. The rapid increment of technology implies the need of an increment in our knowledge about this. Thus, I personally believe that it would be more useful that my school invests its money in computers for its students. The fact that students have a computer for their own or even new computers in a Computer Center can bring about many more benefits for school regarding to that its students would be informed with the latest news, they could print their own info and not wait to borrow a book and they also could make their homework faster.
First and foremost, the arrival of computers to school makes the use of internet necessary. Internet is an excellent way to be informed about the latest news and investigations. If my school bought more books for the library, these books would contain the latest information at that moment. However, the use of internet will bring the latest information not just for that moment but for any moment that the pupils need the data.
Secondly, much information could be shared between students by printing it. It is possible that same information could be necessary for many students in the school, for example as a homework for an entire classroom. Although that buying books for the library could bring necessary information for students, this data will not be available for every student that need it at the same time, because there would be just a small quantity of books to be borrowed. Nevertheless, using computers, a student could look for the information, print it, and take it to his/her house in order to study it. By this mean, he/she allows that other student to search other or the same information immediately after.
Last but not least, in this era where every computer is interconnected, students find easier to make part of their homework at free time after school and then complete it in their homes. It would be possible if each student could use their computer after class inside the school and then send this part of their homework to their homes in order to be completed. By purchasing books, the information would have to be copied in notebooks by students; later, they would have to transcribe it into their own computers to make it finished. Yes, how you can realize, it would consume more time than if a part of homework was done in computers in school previously.
In a nutshell, considering all these reasons, I can reach the conclusion that although some people could choose that it is most fruitful that my school buys books due to they could trust them more than the information given by internet, I definitively say that it is much useful for students and school to buy computers because of the students would be more informed.
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Sentence: Although that buying books for the library could bring necessary information for students, this data will not be available for every student that need it at the same time, because there would be just a small quantity of books to be borrowed.
Description: The fragment that need it is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace need with verb, past tense
Sentence: In a nutshell, considering all these reasons, I can reach the conclusion that although some people could choose that it is most fruitful that my school buys books due to they could trust them more than the information given by internet, I definitively say that it is much useful for students and school to buy computers because of the students would be more informed.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and they
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.454 7.5
Don't need to list reasons in the introduction paragraph.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 483 350
No. of Characters: 2254 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.688 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.667 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.504 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.454 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.153 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5